Paramount is keeping a tight lid on the secret of what, exactly, is rampaging through Manhattan in the new monster movie Cloverfield, opening on Friday. Needless to say, I’ve got a few ideas:
• a giant pigeon made super-ginormous by genetically engineered breadcrumbs
• the bloated ego of Donald Trump
• the psychic manifestation of the united outrage of MTA subway riders over the proposed subway fare hike
• a hive creature made up of rampaging European tourists on a deflated-dollar shopping spree
• a Vogue senior editor whose assistant just brought her a grande latte with whole milk instead of skim
• the psychic manifestation of the united bemusement of MTA bus riders over the mysterious (and presumably expensive) replacement of bus shelters… while the MTA is simultaneously proposing a fare hike
• visitor from Iowa, lost, afraid to ask for directions to the big Toys ’R’ Us in Times Square
• the life-size animatronic dinosaur from the big Toys ’R’ Us in Times Square
• Gawker mogul Nick Denton
• the collective ghost of corrupt Tammany Hall politicians
• the swelled head of New York governor Eliot Spitzer, inflated by the gratitude of New Yorkers over his rollback of the proposed subway fare increase
• subway rat, ordinary size
• the bloated ego of Carrie Bradshaw
• Rudy Giuliani
(inspired by the comments to this posting)
(Technorati tags: Cloverfield monster)
no no, the monster is Mr. Stay Puft. He’s only *voting* for Giuliani.