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rare female film critic | by maryann johanson

my Oscar night: elegance and sophistication all the way

Now, I don’t want you all to be jealous, because there are only so many people I can invite to the world famous FlickFilosopher.com Oscar party every year. And with Vanity Fair having canceled its world-famous after-party this year, there really is no other game in town — and by “town” I mean “Hollywood as an industry,” of course, and not “the Bronx,” because as far as I’m aware, Vanity Fair has never thrown a party in the Bronx, and never will, the wimps. But you know how Hollywood is: exclusivity is everything. So this year I am limiting the invite list to me and the cat, and the cat doesn’t even get a plus-one.

But if you want to try to emulate the coolness and hipness that is the FlickFilosopher.com Oscar party, I’ll let you in on some of my hostess secrets:
1) Stylish attire is a must. I haven’t quite decided what I’m wearing yet: it’s a toss-up between the stripey Target sleep pants and an old T-shirt and the snowflakey Target sleep pants and an old T-shirt.

2) A gracious ambiance is expected. Good thing I stocked up on clearance candles after Christmas. Red and green are traditional Oscar colors, right?

3) Elegant nibbbles are de rigueur. Go ahead and spring for the name-brand snacks: Pirate’s Booty will impress your guests far more than Stop ‘n’ Shop Artificially Colored Corn-Flavored Dipping Chipettes.

4) The wine must flow. This is where you really don’t want to skimp. Get a nice vino like Yellow Tail’s cabernet/shiraz blend. If you shop around, you can get the big bottle for, like, 12 bucks. And here’s a secret: Trader Joe’s Two-Buck Chuck doesn’t actually say “Two-Buck Chuck” on the label, so stock up on Charles Shaw Cabernet and absolutely no one will be the wiser for it.

5) Enliven the evening with a sophisticated casino atmosphere. Don’t just run a pool on who’ll win and who’ll trip on her way up to the podium — place bets on every event. Hershey’s Kisses can serve as a chic alternative to casino chips, and if you stocked up on clearance candy after Christmas a couple months back, you can extend that red-and-green theme. Nothing says “Hollywoood glamour” like a color scheme!

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