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precarious since 1997 | by maryann johanson

opening wide this week: ‘Semi-Pro,’ ‘Penelope, ‘The Other Boleyn Girl’

Will Ferrell is a basketball player with hoop dreams of NBA stardom and a huge white-boy fro. It’s funny, see, cuz he’s a white guy actin’ all black. Also, some say there’s a funny joke about masturbation. Alert the media. (my review)

Usually it’s the guys in romantic comedies who are the pigs, but this time out it’s Christina Ricci, victim of a family curse that mars her pretty face with the snout of a swine. Actually, she makes an adorable oinker, and James McAvoy thinks so too. Please leave all jokes about bestiality at home. (my review)

The Other Boleyn Girl
Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman catfight over a dude! If Eric Bana looks mighty pleased with himself here, well, you can guess why. I love that they kept the historically accurate Jell-O wrestling scene in. And people say movies aren’t important anymore. (my review)

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