opening wide today: ‘The Eye,’ ‘Over Her Dead Body,’ ‘Strange Wilderness,’ ‘Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour’

Three of the four major releases this weekend did not screen for critics. That’s gotta be some kind of record…

The Eye
In this unneccesary remake of a Hong Kong horror movie, Jessica Alba gets an eye transplant from a donor who probably shouldn’t have been donating, and now she can see into the supernatural realm. Maybe she could reach in there and strangle the ghost of Eva Longoria Parker and hook up with Paul Rudd. (not screened for critics, but I’ll check it out today; look for my review over the weekend)

Over Her Dead Body
It’s like Ghost or that awful movie with an undead Reese Witherspoon when Eva Longoria Parker returns from the spirit world to haunt her former, still-alive boyfriend, Paul Rudd, who’s now dating — wait for it! — a psychic. It’s sitcom-a-riffic! (my review)

Strange Wilderness
A bunch of goofballs like Justin Long (that “I’m a Mac” guy from the TV ads) and Steve Zahn go in search of Bigfoot, which is always more hilarious when you’re stoned and hopped up on nonstop poop and fart jokes. A bigger paranormal mystery goes unsolved: When will we see the end of R-rated movies full of kindergarten-level humor? (not screened for critics, and I’m giving it a pass, despite the presence of Zahn and Long, whom I love)

Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour
Apparently Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are the same person, but only one of them is Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter. I’m so confused. Anyway, the two-girls-in-one are singing onscreen, and parents probably won’t have to resort to $5,000 scalped tickets to get their tweener girls in. (not screened for critics, and since I’m older than 12, I feel confident I can skip it and not be missing one of the great movies of 2008)

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Fri, Feb 01, 2008 1:35pm

apparently Disney cannot restrain its greed … this movie will only be in release for *one week*… thus, artificially upping the hysteria and demands for movie tickets as they did for concert tickets… since Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus is obviously an artifical, plastic construct of Disney already, they have total control over this product and they’re milking it for everything they can. i find this type of phoney “star” business appalling — especially as i have a 4 year old niece under the thrall of this Tweener-Svengali.