Well, the shit is hitting the fan with my review of Horton Hears a Who! — I knew it would. Of course, many people will say that my review is the shit… and I don’t mean that in the slang sense that means “the best.” What was I supposed to do, not say what I saw in the movie? I may be the only one who sees it — though I suspect that the angry commenters haven’t even seen the movie itself yet — but I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t. Otherwise, there’s no point in my being here at all. Which is, of course, something that many of those commenters would agree with, too: that there’s no point in my being here.
Anyway, here’s 8 more things I hated about the movie, none of which are mentioned in the review:
1. The Mayor of Whoville has 96 — 96! — daughters he completely ignores, and one son he totally dotes on, who is also, of course, heir to the Mayorship. (I could have gone into a rant about how anti-feminist the movie is, but I thought the anti-reason rant was better.)
2. A hereditary Mayorship? Dudes, that’s called a monarchy.
3. Conformity is bad on Horton’s side of the world, where he is castigated for believing something no one else believes, but it’s what saves the Whos, who must band together no matter what they believe.
4. The anime dream sequence. Seriously, there’s an anime dream sequence.
5. The jokes about Vietnam and Henry Kissenger. I know, I know, it’s just a kids’ movie, and kids get off on that kind of thing, but still, come on.
6. Jim Carrey with godlike powers… again.
7. The movie is written by two guys, Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio, about whom I actually wrote in 2001, “here’s hoping they never work again.”
8. The fact that absolutely none of this is invented — it’s an entirely true representation of the movie.
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