my week at the movies: ’10,000 B.C.,’ ‘Paranoid Park,’ ‘Horton Hears a Who,’ ‘Sleepwalking,’ ‘Under the Same Moon’

I’m really hoping to get a kick out of 10,000 B.C. [opens wide March 7], because I loved sabertooth tigers and giant sloths and woolly mammoths and all those Ice Age creatures when I was a kid. It’s be nice to see a decent movie set in that period. I don’t honestly think this is gonna be that movie, but I’m clinging to my hope until it’s dashed.

This week I’ll catch up with Gus Van Sant’s Paranoid Park [opens limited March 7], which I was supposed to see a couple weeks back. Seeing as this is one of Van Sant’s high school dramas, I bet it’ll be all dreamy and homoerotic and stuff.

Oh god I think I’ll be able to put up with Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who [opens wide March 14] as long as there aren’t any boner jokes like there were in that horrible Cat in the Hat movie a few years back. This one’s got a G rating, so maybe that’s a good sign. Still, I weep for poor Ted Geisel. A whole generation of kids is gonna have a twisted idea about who Dr. Seuss is.

Sleepwalking [opens limited March 14] has a nice cast — Nick Stahl, AnnaSophia Robb, Charlize Theron, Dennis Hopper, and Woody Harrelson — but it sounds pretty depressing: Theron abandons her daughter, Robb, with her brother, Stahl, and domestic drama ensues. Maybe everyone learns how to love life’s little ups and downs in the end.

I’ve got my first event as a member of the Alliance of Women Film Journalists this week: a special screening of Under the Same Moon (La Misma Luna) [opens limited March 19], with a reception afterward with the director, Patricia Riggen. An audience favorite at last year’s Sundance, the film is about a mother working illegally in Los Angeles and the young son she left behind in Mexico. That would be sad enough, except things get worse. Of course they do.

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