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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

dream cast: hypothetical ‘He-Man’ movie

It’s Thursday, so it’s time to remake an 80s classic TV show or movie with an all-new cast. This week: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, the 1983-5 syndicated cartoon series that was among the first seemingly designed to do nothing but move toys off store shelves.

(This topic was suggested by reader Bill. If you have a suggestion for an 80s TV show or movie we should play with, feel free to email me.)
The original characters included:

Prince Adam/He-Man: big dumb muscly guy with “fabulous secret powers” who is “the most powerful man in the universe” (*snort* that’s what they all think)
Teela: Prince Adam’s bodyguard, who’s Lois Lane-dumb enough not to realize that her charge is also He-Man
Orko: weird alien thing is a big hat, like that guy from Fat Albert
Skeletor: the bad guy

I have no opinions whatsoever on recasting this, and in fact I can hardly think of this cartoon without losing myself in giggles. But you guys have fun with it.

By the power of numbskull:

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