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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

dream cast: hypothetical ‘CHiPs’ movie

It’s Thursday, so it’s time to remake an 80s classic TV show or movie with an all-new cast. This week: CHiPs, the 1977-1983 NBC action drama about two motorcycle cops of the California Highway Patrol. Hey, it wasn’t all a day at the beach and babes in bikinis, you know. Mostly it was, but not all.

(If you have a suggestion for an 80s TV show or movie we should play with, feel free to email me.)
The original cast included:

Officer “Ponch” Poncherello: Erik Estrada
Officer Jonathan “Jon” Baker: Larry Wilcox
Sergeant Joseph Getraer: Robert Pine

Of course Ponch was the hotheaded troublemaker and Jon the calm, down-to-earth one. And of course the first impetus to remake this one would be with groovy snarking on the era:

Officer “Ponch” Poncherello: Ben Stiller
Officer Jonathan “Jon” Baker: Owen Wilson
Sergeant Joseph Getraer: Will Ferrell

Which could be funny. But we can be cleverer than that. How about calling it, um, Chick CHiPs and switching the genders:

Officer “Ponch” Poncherello: Michelle Rodriguez
Officer Jessica “Jess” Baker: Elisabeth Röhm
Sergeant Jo Getraer: Amanda Tapping

How would you reimagine the show, and who would you cast?

Ah, dig that groovy wakka-a-chikka theme music:

Oh god that’s so funny. Did we really think this was cool? We did, didn’t we? Man, we were dumb.

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