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film criticism by maryann johanson | since 1997

dream cast: hypothetical ‘Watchmen’ movie

It’s Thursday, and we’re gonna have some extra fun with Dream Cast this week. We’re gonna cast the classic graphic novel Watchmen… as if schlock producer Joel Silver’s production had actually gotten off the ground instead of the Zack Snyder-directed adaptation that just opened.

(If you have a suggestion for an 80s TV show or movie we should play with, as we typically do with this game, feel free to email me.)
Watchmen, as we’re getting it, is full of unfamiliar faces — real actors as opposed to pretty faces — that do not distract from the wide personalities of the characters. But it’s hard to imagine that a Joel Silver production wouldn’t have been full of movie stars hamming it up. (Silver’s list of credits, though it does feature some good films, is chock full of crap, too, enough to suggest that rather than planning for quality, he merely throws enough stuff up against the wall and hopes some of it sticks.)

So, imagine if you will, how perverted a Watchmen movie could have been from its source material. Come on, it’s fun!

Here’s my dream cast… or perhaps I should call it a nightmare cast:

The Comedian/Edward Blake: Jim Carrey
Doctor Manhattan/Jonathan Osterman: Tom Cruise
Nite Owl/Dan Dreiberg: Ben Affleck
Ozymandias/Adrian Veidt: Matthew McConaughey
Rorschach/Walter Kovacs: Mike Myers
Silk Spectre/Laurie Juspeczyk: Kate Hudson

Who would you hate to see cast?

Everyone’s having fun with Watchmen — this is one of the better spoof trailers:

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