dream cast: (not so) hypothetical ‘Three Stooges’ movie

It’s Thursday, and that means it’s time to remake an 80s classic TV show or movie with an all-new cast. This week we’re stretching the timeline a bit to feature The Three Stooges, the mid-20th-century vaudeville act whose short films ensured their spot in the pop culture hall of fame as the poster boys for entertaining idiocy… and as Gen X touchstones. And we’re dreamcasting this this week because there’s a movie in the works, and you won’t believe who’s been cast. (More after the jump.)

(If you have a suggestion for an 80s TV show or movie we should play with, feel free to email me.)
The news have been all over the Web, and summed up perfectly at The New York Times today:

To his allies, Sean Penn is a wise guy; to his adversaries, he’s a stooge. Now they’re both correct: the actor has joined the cast of “The Three Stooges,” a new MGM comedy based on the vintage film shorts of that knockaround trio, Variety reported. Mr. Penn, who recently won his second Academy Award, for playing the title role in Gus Van Sant’s “Milk,” is set to play Larry, the wire-haired, Stradivarius-wielding Stooge. The studio is also said to be in final negotiations with Jim Carrey, who will gain weight to play the rotund Curly, and is pursuing Benicio Del Toro (“Che”) to play the irritable Moe. The film is to be written and directed by Bobby and Peter Farrelly (of “There’s Something About Mary” and “Kingpin” fame), and is planned for a 2010 release.

Ho-lee crap. Sean Penn as Larry? Sean Penn as any of the Three Stooges?

So, the rumored cast for the movie includes:

Larry: Sean Penn
Moe: Benicio Del Toro
Curly: Jim Carrey

Carrey’s not a bad choice, but I just can’t see Penn or Del Toro as funny, at least not in a Stooges way. Penn will never live down Jeff Spicoli, of course, but that’s a different kind of funny (and a long time ago). And Del Toro’s funny is of a witty, dry kind, not the Stooges-physical kind.

A better cast:

Larry: Hugh Laurie
Moe: Claudia Black (in a gender switch)
Curly: Kevin James (much as I hate to admit it)

What do you think? Do you like the Penn/Carrey/Del Toro cast, or does it need a revamp?

Nyuck nyuck nyuck:

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