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part of a small rebellion | by maryann johanson

question of the day: What imaginary film would you most like to see?

We’ve all got those favorite movies that don’t exist. I’d love to see Sand Pirates of the Sahara, the fake movie-within-the-movie we get only glimpses of in The Majestic. I’d also love to see The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Against the World Crime League, the sequel that was promised to us at the end of Across the Eighth Dimension but was never made.

Two posts this week in the film blogosphere — one by Phil Nugent at The Screengrab and the other, riffing on Nugent, by Danny Leigh at Guardian Film — have me thinking about these movies-that-don’t-exist again.

What imaginary film would you most like to see? Could be a movie that will never exist, like Sand Pirates; a lost sequel; or an unproduced script like the ones Nugent and Leigh discuss.

(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD, feel free to email me.)

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  • CM

    The super lame (but awesome?) sounding ‘The 3’ referenced in Adaptation to be written by Charlie Kaufman’s fictional twin brother.

  • hdj

    A while ago there was a movie called ” Remo Williams : the adventure begins” , and it seemed like they where preparing for a few sequels but it really is just one movie. As of now Fred Ward wouldn’t be able to do the part again but someone could do it, they could event it make it like a Bourne movie.

  • Jim Mann

    Don’t know if this fits, but how about the Bogart/Gable The Man Who Would Be King?

    Or how about Kubrick’s Napoleon?

    And I’ll also like to see Buckaroo Banzai vs the World Crime League.


  • Mark

    You know those two great “Star Wars” movies? I’d like the guy who made them to make some prequels and maybe a sequel.

  • Hank Graham

    Someone to make Lois McMaster Bujold’s “The Warrior’s Apprentice.”

    Problem is, I’d like someone to have made it 10 years ago, with Seth Green as Miles.

    Also starring Harrison Ford as Aral and Sigourney Weaver as Cordelia.

  • Hank Graham

    Oh, and not imaginary, but apparently lost:

    Orson Welles’s original cut of “The Magnificent Ambersons,” and Todd Browning’s “London After Midnight.”

  • MaSch

    “Radioactive Man” and Mel Gibson’s remake of “Mister Smith goes to Washington” spring to mind.

    I also wouldn’t mind a video review of the cinematic adaption of “The Approach to Al-Mu’tasim”” by Borges, erm, I mean by Mir Bahadur Ali.

  • I vote Buckaroo Banzai vs. the World Crime League. It’s doable, you’d have to get a new cast for it and… and… hey, MaryAnn! Here’s a Dream Cast idea for you! With David Tennant as Buckaroo! Ziyi Zhang as Penny! And John Lithgow returning as as Dr. Laz… oh wait that character died. Wait again! It’s a comic-book universe, so people come back! WOOT!

  • Ken

    Since there are Buckaroo Banzai comics being published right now, I imagine the situation with the rights has been resolved. (I picked up the first issue of The Prequel. If it’s any indication of the overall quality of the comics, don’t bother—it’s awful.)

    How about The Purple Rose of Cairo? (The movie in the movie)

    Or Blue Harvest?

  • amanohyo

    As far as fake trailers/reviews go, I wouldn’t mind watching Satan’s Alley, Scary Mary, Honey I Ate the Kids, The Merchant of Venice Beach, or Scorcher I and VI.

    I’m not really interested in Simple Jack, Must Love Jaws, The Fatties films, 10 Things I Hate About Commandments, Glen & Gary & Glen & Ross, Brokeback to the Future, Titanic: To the Surface, Angels With Filthy Souls, Brown Acres, or the PG version of 300.

    Oh, I’d also probably enjoy seeing Planet of The Apes: The Musical: the Movie.

  • @Ken All the Buckaroo Banzai comics I’ve read sucked, so I am not looking for any help there. And even though the comic rights have been somewhat straightened, film rights are a whole ‘nuther animal.

  • Katie G

    Ah– I’d go crazy over Susanna Clarke’s Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell if the Nolan brothers adapted and directed it.

  • ren

    I’d love to see the two movies that are supposed to come after Chronicles of Riddick (so sue me, I like Vin Diesel movies).

    Also, the Nightstalkers movie that was hinted at in the DVD extras of Blade: Trinity. And a second Firefly movie.

    And the Good Omens movie, which has been promised off and on since the nineties.

    Man, I’d even just take novels of any of them. Except, I suppose, Good Omens, which is, in fact, already a novel.

  • Paul

    Ray Bradbury wrote a story called “The Dragon Danced at Midnight” in which a movie called “The Dragon Dances at Midnight” is put together in a slap dash way and then the reels are played in the wrong order by a drunk projectionist.

  • MaryAnn

    Someone to make Lois McMaster Bujold’s “The Warrior’s Apprentice.”

    Problem is, I’d like someone to have made it 10 years ago, with Seth Green as Miles.

    I love Seth Green, but he is SO not Miles.

    Jamie Bamber must play Miles.

  • i’d like to see the movie “Purple Rose of Cairo” as in “The Purple Rose of Cairo”. it was the movie that all of the characters walked out of. it just looked like it would be so much fun.

  • Dr. Rocketscience

    Habeas Corpus (from The Player).
    But I’m honestly not sure which ending I’d prefer. ;)

  • Muzz

    I’d like to see a real adaptation of Tristram Shandy and not a meta- one.
    Missing the point perhaps, but it could be fun to watch.

  • sandra

    I’d love to see SHE DEVIL OF BABYLON, the silent screen epic which is being filmed during Barbara Hambley’s Bride of the Rat-God, which would make a pretty good movie itself. I also wish someone would film David Brin’s The Postman and get it right this time. It was a great book and ought to have made a great movie instead of that Kevin Costner snoozefest.

  • I’d most love to see La Fin Absolue Du Monde–the horror film featured in the “Cigarette Burns” episode of Masters of Horror–myself.

    But I don’t know if it would have too many repeat showings.

    The super lame (but awesome?) sounding ‘The 3’ referenced in Adaptation to be written by Charlie Kaufman’s fictional twin brother.

    I could have sworn that they already made a film like that several years ago.

    In France, I believe…

  • MaryAnn

    Nah, *The 3* was made here — it was that awful Lindsay Lohan movie I Know Who Killed Me.

  • I’d like to see a proper adaptation of I, Robot with the Harlan Ellison script.

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