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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

question of the day: How could reality TV sink any lower than Fox’s new ‘I Married a Stranger’?

The Hollywood Reporter blog The Live Feed made the announcement:

Fox is developing a wedding reality series where brides-to-be don’t meet their husbands until they exchange vows.

In A. Smith & Co.’s “I Married a Stranger,” a woman frustrated by the dating scene agrees to marry a man she’s never met. While she prepares for a blind wedding, friends and family are shown selecting a spouse from a pool of six eligible suitors offered by producers. The men are eliminated one by one until only two candidates remain. Both finalists walk down the aisle, but only one makes it to the altar to reveal himself to his new wife.

“She never meets him until the actual moment when they say ‘I do,’ ” a source close to the project said. “It’s like the big scene that comes after an entire season of ‘The Bachelor,’ only this is in every episode.”

Because The Bachelor isn’t crass enough, see, so Fox decided to cram a season’s worth of crude, cheap vulgarity into every single episode. It’s brilliant! This is why TV executives get the big bucks, folks: because their brains are capable of going places the minds of normal, well-adjusted people could never even conceive of thinking about going.

But let’s try. How could reality TV sink any lower than Fox’s new I Married a Stranger? How could things possibly get worse than this?

Here’s my pitch for Fox: I Dare You Not to Become a Drug Addict. We start with 12 contestants, all smart, attractive, young, with everything to live for. The first challenge is easy (and legal!): Each must consume fifths of tequila — three apiece! — over the course of four hours, and whoever’s not dead the next morning moves on to the next round. From then on, it’s alternating illegal drugs with legal ones, and moving up the depravity scale. Pot, ecstasy, oxycontin, speed, coke, heroin, Vicodin, and so on. Whoever exits the 12-week, 12-episode challenge not addicted to anything wins! But more fun is watching what all the losers will do for their next hit. Which I Dare producer will Britney the cute blond cheerleader fuck for some more heroin? Which 7-Eleven will Brad, the promising medical student, knock over for enough cash to score? Watch for the celebrity addict guest in each episode!

Now gimme my production deal, Fox.

(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD, feel free to email me.)



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