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part of a small rebellion | by maryann johanson

Victoria Jackson is giving ditzy blondes a bad name

I always thought Victoria Jackson was sorta cute on 1980s Saturday Night Live, in a ditzy-blonde kind of way that gave ditzy blondes a halfway decent image of sweetness and nontoxicity.

These days, she is clearly out to correct that unfair impression. For at Big Hollywood — the frequently hilarious blog where, as site founder Andrew Breitbart explains, “brave conservative thinkers” expose the “uninteresting… vicious… vitriolic,” “European leftist” liberals that have a stranglehold over Hollywood, and implore all the closeted right-wingers in the entertainment industry to come out — she went on a tear yesterday that:

I’d been wondering why the liberals are so passionate about this Health Care thing. It couldn’t be because they actually care about sick, poor people. If they did, they would visit hospitals, and give ten percent of their gross salaries to Compassion International and World Vision, like us stupid church go-ers do. Biden gave $ 62 to charity last year.

No, there’s gotta be a catch. I guess this question was sitting in my brain and during my sleep, my brain was working on it, because when I suddenly awoke at 3 a.m. I had the answer.


Social Security and Medicare are broke. Baby boomers, like me, are getting old and will soon be asking for it. Socialized medicine makes people die. You stand in a long, long line with a breast lump, clogged artery, or sharp pencil stuck in your eye, and someone like the DMV person, who can’t speak English, has chewing gum, an attitiude, really long fake nails that curl up at the end, and is talking on a cell phone, enjoying their power trip moment, is finally face to face with you. They mumble something incoherent about paperwork. You die. One less person in line for Social Security and Medicare!

Obama legally kills babies and now he can legally kill Grandmas!

Hitler did this. He killed the weak, the sick, the old, and babies and races/religions he didn’t like. Hitler also controlled the media. (Where’s the public debate between scientists on “Climate Change/Global Warming?”) Hitler had the VW bug invented as the state car. What will O’s nationalized car be? So… kill off the weak. That’s the plan. Tax the workers to death. Erase the middle class. Sounds like the evil governments we studied in high school long ago. The evil governments were : kings, oligarchies, facist, socialist, and communist. Now it’s called the Obama Administration. Sounds like candy or a rock band.

(Emphasis hers.)

Is that all of it? Hardly! Try it all — it’s fun!

Oh, and anyone have a couple spare tix for the Obama Administration concert at the stadium on Friday night? And have you downloaded their new album? It’s wonk!

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  • doa766

    so according to her no medicine at all is better than socialized medicine

    at least I agree with her regarding church go-ers, they really are stupid

  • doa766

    I just went to that site and some of the people posting comments are making fun of the mayority of the comments who congratulate her because they think she’s serious

    if it’s a satire it’s not very funny but it does seem to stupid to be real, also she’s a comedian and it’s the first time she wrote for that site

  • Mathias

    How do conservative not pass out from exhaustion of being constantly terrified of the federal government?

  • doa766

    I’m pretty sure she’s doing a Colbert/Borat by posting a rant that it’s actually a toxic bait for brain dead morons to write comments saying they agree with her about Hitler and Euthanasia

    at least, I’d like to think so, former SNL Dennis Miller went insane like this for real, so you never now

  • Nathan

    no, it’s real. she’s always been a not-very-talented idiot.

  • It’s the first time she wrote for that site

    No, it isn’t. She wrote a short piece on Year One around the same time that MaryAnn wrote a review of the same flick. And came to the same conclusion as MaryAnn: the movie stinks. Though, interestingly, most of her commenters blamed that flick’s failure on liberals.

    So according to her no medicine at all is better than socialized medicine.

    No, that’s not what she’s saying. And you don’t have to agree with her to see that.

    And why don’t more liberals visit hospitals and contribute money to charities?

    Are you arguing that these would be bad things?

  • t6

    She does this thing that is quite irritating.

    “I’d been wondering why the liberals are so passionate about this Health Care thing. It couldn’t be because they actually care about sick, poor people. If they did, they would visit hospitals, and give ten percent of their gross salaries to Compassion International and World Vision, like us stupid church go-ers do.”

    Does anyone see the irritating thing? She equates church-goers with conservative and liberal with non church-going. There are lots and lots of liberal church goers. And lots and lots of volunteerism and charity giving among liberals as well.

    And for a person who says she cares about poor people, her classist portrayal of people who work at the DMV is gross.

  • Ryan

    And why don’t more liberals visit hospitals and contribute money to charities?

    Are you arguing that these would be bad things?

    I would argue that there is no way to determine whether or not liberals or conservatives visit hospitals more, or which group contributes more to charity.

    I also equate conservatism to church-going…I just don’t think it’s a good thing. If the Republicans could divorce themselves (heh) from the Religious Right Hypocrites, I would probably consider voting for some of their better candidates.

  • Oh. Wow. huh.

    Guess the whole stupid thing wasn’t an act. Sad.

  • doa766

    “And why don’t more liberals visit hospitals and contribute money to charities?

    Are you arguing that these would be bad things?”

    the problem is that probably 10 million people would have to visit hospitals everyday and another 10 million would have to donate money every day to make a similar effect than what the state run health system does for the people in England or France

    somehow I don’t see that happening

  • Der Bruno Stroszek

    Also, the kind of killer problem is that she has no evidence whatsoever that liberals don’t give to charity or visit hospitals, and it’s hard to take it on trust since she is genuinely mentally ill.

  • Matthew

    It’s obviously true that “socialized medicine makes people die” this is why the US has better life expectancy than all those terrible countries with universal healthcare:


    Just look at how bad things are in Japan, for example:


    Nobody could possibly accuse her of just making stuff up without any regards to the facts that prove her wrong.

  • Jean

    Not to mention that, nice as it might be, visiting people in hospitals does not improve the health care the receive there NOR does it prevent them from ending up back in the hospital again (unless the person “visiting” is a health care professional with privileges at that hospital). Balloons and smiles make someone’s hospital experience better. They do not make someone’s HEALTH better.

  • bitchen frizzy

    Actually, that’s not true. It helps a lot for hospital patients to have visitors that are watching what is going on. In my vigils with sick relatives, I’ve headed off medication mistakes before they happened. A visitor can get the attention of a nurse when the patient urgently needs help, and I’ve done that before, too. A patient who is alone is often SOL if they begin hemorraging or choking or something.

    Not to mention that patients that have visitors actually do better overall.

  • Jean

    Bitchen-fair point, though I will make the caveat about the medication errors that you were a relative with a) the knowledge to judge whether a treatment was correct and b) the right to know what medications and treatments were being given in the first place. I’m not sure that a visitor who is there just for charity would have either of those things. And, yes, certainly if a patient has someone in the room they can call for an emergency situation, but many patient’s have monitors (not to mention call bells) that can alert staff to a problem as well.

    If a politician (conservative or liberal or none of the above) were to say to me, “I can either go, as an individual, and spend a few hours with a patient in a hospital or I can work to try to fix the medical system to assure that that patient and millions of others can have insurance, a competent and available primary care provider and will be able to afford not only their hospital treatment but treatment to keep them out of the hospital”, I’d pick option B in a heartbeat. Granted, nothing wrong with doing both, but I strongly believe that going and physically sitting in a hospital room is not the only way (and maybe not the most effective way) to “care about sick people.”

    I guess what I was trying to get at was that individual acts of kindness are great, but when the system is broken we need to think about making bigger changes.

  • doa766

    politicians who oppose free health care do it because they’re been paid by the companies, everyone informed knows this

    what it’s surprising it’s that they manage to brainwash people like this, what it should be done in these cases is to talk to people who think like this not using health care terms but logic terms (first grade logic), for example:

    you can tell her that you agree that Obama’s agenda is euthanasia, and then ask her how does she think that all the liberals who support free health care found out about the plan

    since she’s so deep in denial then she’ll be force to come up with so massive secret society theory and even she’ll have to admit it makes no sense

    sounds like a joke but it’s something I do quite often, when someone says shit like this play along until you corner them and they have to say something so far fetched that it will sound wrong even to them

    like this guy at work who’s an anti semi moron, the other day he said that palestinians should kill everyone on Israel because they stole their land, so I told him: “not only that but they also killed Jesus”, and he said “damn right”, and then I told him I didn’t know much about the Jesus story and I wanted him to tell me how those slippery jews managed to rule the death Jesus if the didn’t own the land at the time?, he said something like “even if they owned the land 2000 years ago they still stole it”, I asked him “how come” but at this point he realized I was messing with him and walked away

    sorry for the long post, I’m bored at work

  • Matthew

    Interestingly there’s a Big Hollywood article praising Torchwood as being both Libertarian and pro-American:


    It’s nothing of the sort, of course, but it doesn’t shy away from confronting issues dramatically, and it doesn’t attempt to rule out a variety of responses to the situations it presents. Paul Cornell has described Russell T Davies as having an anti-agenda agenda – and I think this is evidence that he does.

  • Well, if there was a chance in Hell I’d ever take Big Hollywood seriously, that Torchwood piece certainly put an end to it.

  • Dr Rocketscience

    I… I don’t understand this piece. I read it and just picture this image.

    It makes no sense on any level. Is it satire of far-right-wing opinion pieces? That’s possible. But if so, it’s really, really badly done. It’s too over the top. I’m left feeling pity, not scorn, for anyone would agree with her opinions, as written. And I’m left scowling at anyone who would laugh at this, since it’s like making fun of 6-year-olds for being unable to slamdunk a basketball.

    Is she serious? If so, one has to question her ability to communicate in English, if not her sanity. No two ideas here connect in any logical way, nor does she even attempt to connect them.
    And then, she starts telling a story about a shop in Burbank. What is the point here? All she says reiterates her previous three paragraphs, stll with no connecting threads. And who do the shopkeepers/employees represent? Small business owner would imply conservative, but they treat her as a crazy person (as well they should). So does that mean they’re really liberals? And even if they are, so what?

  • Francesca

    Why did anyone ever think that tasteless insufferable blob whore was cute? Even by 80s standards? She looked like an 80s televagelist’s favorite hooker. She made late 80s snl an endurance test.

    I don’t get why conservatives like her either. She’s like a walking Landover Baptist Parody of them. She’s like a big Hollywood caricature of conservatives.

    I was so happy when she went away in the 90s.

    And she was a Christian while she was basically a glorified prostitute on SNL?!

  • Francesca

    Year One was a million times funnier than anything old Blobby Jackson tormented the eighties with.

  • tomservo

    There are several things about true conservatism I admire; individual rights, personal responsibility, a healthy scepticism of the nanny state and political correctness. Yet, people like Victoria Jackson show what modern American conservatives have become; paranoid, delusional, hateful bigots who are terrified of anyone not like them. Then again, maintaining this bizarre combo of evangelical Christianity and social Darwinism can’t be easy in a rational mind.

  • Accounting Ninja

    @Francesca: Is it really necessary to call attention to her weight and call her a whore? How was she a “prostitute” on SNL? Because she was a woman cast member? Guess that makes Cheri Oteri and Tina Fey glorified prostitutes too.

    I fervently disagree with Jackson’s “views”, but body and slut shaming is the fastest way our society takes down a woman in the public sphere whose views we disagree with.

    @tomservo: I’m an individual rights fans as well. Generally I think people underestimate their personal power to create happiness in their lives.:) It’s really too bad the right has become the haven of evangelicals, bigots, misogynists, gay bashers and classists. I don’t agree with the left 100%, but it’s the pro-gay and atheist friendly party.

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