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film criticism by maryann johanson | since 1997

caption this! image from ‘Pandorum’

Fun for Wednesdays! We look at an image from an upcoming movie and write snarky, witty, or otherwise entertaining captions for it. No prizes, it’s just for fun.

Pandorum isn’t screening for critics, so I haven’t seen it, but if I were home, I might pop into a multiplex to check it out on opening day, just for the hell of it, because it’s nominally science fiction and I’m a big dork. But I’m not home, and by the time I get home, there will be too much else to catch up with. So this may be the closest I get to the movie till it ends up on DVD:

Overture Films tells us about the flick:

Two crew members are stranded on a spacecraft and quickly — and horrifically — realize they are not alone. Two astronauts awaken in a hyper-sleep chamber aboard a seemingly abandoned spacecraft. It’s pitch black, they are disoriented, and the only sound is a low rumble and creak from the belly of the ship. They can’t remember anything: Who are they? What is their mission? With Lt. Payton staying behind to guide him via radio transmitter, Cpl. Bower ventures deep into the ship and begins to uncover a terrifying reality. Slowly the spacecraft’s shocking, deadly secrets are revealed…and the astronauts find their own survival is more important than they could ever have imagined.

In other words, please do think about Pitch Black when you think about this movie. Because even though a few idiots didn’t like that movie, everybody cool did, and it made a ton of money, and Overture would like for Pandorum to make a ton of money too. Thank you.

Pandorum opens in the U.S. on September 25, and in the U.K. on October 2.

Visit the film’s IMDB page or official site for more info.

Caption away…

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