the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Bonanza of Men’s Bare Feet III’

I think what’s most special about this one is that it’s No. 3 in the series. Because one bonanza of bare feet is never bonanza enough.

Second most special thing is that, if you check out the Web site of distributor Triangle Dream Video, you learn that it offers only “artistic and athletic male nudity.” It’s not porn, it’s not fetish wank material, it’s art.

Something I never needed to know, but inadvertantly discovered while trying to learn more about this DVD: there exists FootFetishTube.com.

I guess I really am startlingly vanilla in my tastes not to even be aware that such things can be found online. I mean, one cannot help but suspect that this stuff is out there, but now I know for sure. I can’t unknow it.

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amanohyo
amanohyo
Tue, Dec 29, 2009 11:31am

There are plenty of odd fetishes out there, a lot of them are disgusting and degrading to most people, but the most bizarre one to me is the balloon fetish. It’s just… how? Is it some weird spin off of the inflatable person fetish? Is it because of those corny strippers that cover themselves in balloons? In some weird way, it makes me happy to know about such a seemingly harmless practice. Non looners can’t help but chuckle when imagining the various “sexy” scenarios. Macy’s Parade orgies, balloon animal bestiality, etc.

Daniel
Daniel
Tue, Dec 29, 2009 1:59pm

I’ve gone back and forth over whether I actually want to comment on this topic. I don’t think this is an “Oh no!” DVD as much as it’s porn aimed at a small and particular audience. I don’t really think of porn as cinema. I think of it as a tool to meet a specific physical need.

Count Shrimpula
Tue, Dec 29, 2009 2:21pm

Oh man, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you hadn’t been on the internets for very long if you’re that freaked out by foot fetish sites.

To be fair to the distributor, their description of it as “artistic” serves two purposes. One, it helps protect them in legal matters. Remember, we once had a Supreme Court justice define what obscenity is by saying, “I know it when I see it”. Not particularly comforting to me, the idea of, “Oh, I’ll tell you after the fact if what you did wasn’t protected speech.” The second purpose is to advertise to customers that their stuff is more softcore, i.e., not an hour and a half of extreme close-up ass sex.

Anyway, here are my two pieces of advice to you:
1. Do not further plumb the depths of Internet pornography if foot fetish stuff disturbed you this much. It gets so much indescribably worse. Stay away from any other “tube” sites that aren’t YouTube.
2. Foot fetishes are not all that uncommon (though my defense of such is not because I have one, mind). If you happen to end up with a guy or gal who reveals to you that they have a foot fetish, do not freak out and end it. This is a good deal as far as fetishes go! If you can just lay back and close your eyes while you let them suck on your toes every once in a while, it means unlimited foot rubs any time you want while you’re in the relationship. You could do a hell of a lot worse.

Tonio Kruger
Tonio Kruger
Tue, Dec 29, 2009 3:01pm

Didn’t King of the Hill devote an entire episode to the female equivalent of this?

chuck
chuck
Tue, Dec 29, 2009 10:41pm

What’s even more troubling is that now that we know it’s a series of video’s will you still find time to do more pedestrian reviews?

MaryAnn
MaryAnn
Tue, Dec 29, 2009 10:58pm

Do not further plumb the depths of Internet pornography if foot fetish stuff disturbed you this much.

It really didn’t. I took a bit of poetic license here. I’ve been on the Net pretty much since there’s been a Net, but I’ve really never felt any urge to check out all the many varieties of porn available online. That’s all. It just doesn’t do anything for me.

I don’t really think of porn as cinema

I don’t either. But most porn does not end up on Amazon’s “new releases” listings, either.

Jurgan
Jurgan
Wed, Dec 30, 2009 1:25am

What’s even more troubling is that now that we know it’s a series of video’s will you still find time to do more pedestrian reviews?

That’s either a weak insult or a very subtle pun. I’m not sure which, but I assume the latter for my own amusement.

chuck
chuck
Wed, Dec 30, 2009 3:14am

very subtle pun

Why else use the word pedestrian, I am nothing if not subtle.