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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

because the spirit of Looney Tunes hasn’t yet reached the ninth circle of hell

Speedy Gonzales: The Movie is in the planning stages. It’ll be a hybrid of live action and CGI. That’s bad, but it’s not all. Head for the hills, hide the children, and brace yourself: George Lopez, the unfunniest man in Hollywood, will be providing Senor Speedy’s voice, according to The Hollywood Reporter. But wait — it gets even worse:

the character has often courted criticism that the ethnic characterizations of him and his compatriots (especially lazy cousin Slowpoke Rodriguez) are stereotypically racist and severely outdated.

Aware of this, New Line and the producers plan to update the brand with a modernized sensibility (it takes place in present day) under what Ann Lopez calls George’s “Latino seal of approval.” (No need to throw fuel on the fire that serves as an immigration debate in this country.)

“We wanted to make sure that it was not the Speedy of the 1950s — the racist Speedy,” Ann Lopez said with a chuckle. “Speedy’s going to be a misunderstood boy who comes from a family that works in a very meticulous setting, and he’s a little too fast for what they do. He makes a mess of that. So he has to go out in the world to find what he’s good at.”

See? This Speedy Gonzales cartoon is gonna have heart. And you know that heart’ll be the real thing, because screenwriters Alec Sokolov and Joel Cohen also wrote Daddy Day Camp and Cheaper by the Dozen. Also:

The pair has “Walter the Farting Dog” in development at Fox, with the Jonas Brothers starring and the Farrelly Bros. directing.

*headdesk*

This has been your WTF Thought for the Day.



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