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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

‘Lost’ blogging: “What Kate Does”

(previous: “LA X” Parts 1 and 2)

There’s no way to “review” or “analyze” or even “discuss” this show on an episode-by-episode basis — it’s more like you just have to react and try to guess what the hell is going on. So I’m not even gonna try to impose any sense or reason upon it: I’m just going to react. Maybe when it’s all said and done there will be something cohesive to say. Till then…

Perhaps needless to say, Lost doesn’t make much sense while you’re watching it. My ramblings will surely make even less sense if you haven’t seen the episode… and something may get spoiled for you that you don’t want spoiled. You have been warned.

So, here are the thoughts I jotted down, pretty much in order as they occurred to me as I watched:
Sayid was only mostly dead. Which is a little alive. Everyone remember to go easy on him, cuz he’s been mostly dead all day…

Oooo, bitter, bitter Sawyer: “Of course [Sayid’s] fine. He’s an Iraqi torturer who shoots kids. He definitely deserves another go round.” And then he calls Kate “Kate” and not “Freckles,” so he’s totally serious.

Airport-Kate kidnaps Oscar’s Aaron’s mom (why can I never remember her name?) then throws her out of the car without her purse and without her luggage. Bitch!

Can you imagine being someone trying to pick up this show now? Characters in two places at once? People being resurrected from the dead? WTF?

Claire! Her name is Claire. It was the preggers Poloraid in the luggage Airport-Kate opened that triggered it. Why the hell can I not remember that girl’s name? Is she that bland? And why do I keep wanting to call the baby Oscar? Am I from an alternate universe in which the details of Lost are slightly different?

And now Sayid is being experimented upon à la Count Rugen and Westley. Have the Lost writers actually been watching The Princess Bride? “Now, tell me how you feel. And remember, this is for posterity…”

You know what? I’m thinking all this temple stuff is bullshit. Lost had lost me after the previous season, then just about won me back again last season, but now I’m starting to suspect — again — that the writers are hoping we don’t notice that they really have no idea what story they’re trying to tell. And — the bastards — they’re gonna keep me tuning in every week hoping that I’m wrong. And we’re gonna get to the last episode and it’s gonna be epic bullshit, and I’m gonna be really, really pissed. I just know it.

Sayid is “infected” with something? Right… And he needs to take this “medicine”? Sure…

Wait: When did Jin start speaking English? Am I totally blanking on stuff? (I mean, I probably am, because this show is all over the place. But my wondering whether I’m misremembering things isn’t really me misremembering things but more like, How much contadictory crap can this show throw at us and still make us love it?)

Awww. Airport-Claire wants her kidnapper to come with her to meet her baby’s adoptive parents. So cute. And then Airport-Claire goes into labor when she gets her bad news, with Airport-Kate present. So this alternate Kate is still gonna end up as the baby’s mom, I’m thinking.

Ahhh! Ethan is a doctor in Los Angeles! Ahhh! (Is it weird of me that I totally think actor William Mapother is way more attractive than his cousin, Tom Cruise?)

Is Sawyer crying over Juliet? Oh my. I am a huge sucker for a big manly man of a man crying. Come here, honey, and let me kiss it better…

Whoa! What? Jack has a sister?! The weird Japanese temple guy doesn’t mean Claire, does he?

(Watch full episodes at ABC’s official site for the show.)

(next: “The Substitute”)


MPAA: rated TV14-V

viewed at home on a small screen

official site | IMDb
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