OMG, have you heard? Rielle Hunter is going on Oprah to reveal all about her affair with John Edwards! What do you think she’ll say? Oh gosh, do you think she’ll — *gasp* — say they totally had sex and stuff?
OMG, have you read the X-rated texts Tiger Woods’ mistress Joslyn James has made public? She totally started her own Web site! Oh wow, Tiger Woods totally texted the word cock!
OMG, can you wait for Michelle “Bombshell” McGee to give us all the details on her illicit romance with Jesse James, aka Mr. Sandra Bullock? She’s already admitted that she was only with him in the hopes of getting famous, so what else will $30,000 get out of her? Do you think she saw his pee-pee?
Okay, I’m gonna go throw up now.
Whose tell-all confession would actually be worth hearing?
Maybe someone could pay George Lucas to explain just what the hell he was thinking setting a Star Wars plot revolving around a trade dispute. Perhaps Oprah or Larry King could kindly ask Kevin Smith was his major malfunction is.
What celebrity disclosure and apology does the world actually, in fact, require?
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