wtf: can’t sleep, London Olympics mascots will kill me

According to the Guardian, these candy-colored fiends

are based on a short story by children’s author Michael Morpurgo that tells how they were fashioned from droplets of the steel used to build the Olympic stadium.

They’re called Wenlock and Mandeville, though I suspect even their mother can’t remember which one is which. From the Guardian:

Wenlock, named after the Shropshire town of Much Wenlock that helped inspire Pierre de Coubertin to launch the modern Olympics, and Mandeville, inspired by the Buckinghamshire town of Stoke Mandeville, where the Paralympics were founded, will become very familiar in the next two years. The chairman of the London organising committee of the Olympic games (Locog), Lord Coe, said the mascots were aimed squarely at children and designed with the digital age in mind. He said they had the most positive reaction in workshops to road test them.

Yeah, well, clowns are aimed squarely at children, too, and no one is stopping clowns from eating our brains while we sleep.

And you. Will. Not. Be. Able. To. Escape. Them:

They will become a range of up to 30 cuddly toys, including versions based on celebrities and sports stars, as well as adorning badges, T-shirts, mugs and more.

Reader Paul, who sent me the photo, thinks they look like Doctor Who monsters. I can see that, if it’s a monster whose evil consciousness is too big for just one body, and so it is divided into two hideous corporeal forms that each have one giant eye and yet see together, all the better to plot how to take over the universe by riveting us all in unutterable horror till we all simply die of thirst.

share and enjoy
               
If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will be held for MaryAnn’s approval. This is an anti-spam, anti-troll, anti-abuse measure. If your comment is not spam, trollish, or abusive, it will be approved, and all your future comments will post immediately. (Further comments may still be deleted if spammy, trollish, or abusive, and continued such behavior will get your account deleted and banned.)
If you’re logged in here to comment via Facebook and you’re having problems, please see this post.
PLEASE NOTE: The many many Disqus comments that were missing have mostly been restored! I continue to work with Disqus to resolve the lingering issues and will update you asap.
subscribe
notify of
14 Comments
oldest
newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
view all comments
Martin
Martin
Fri, May 21, 2010 5:37pm

The only thing I love about them is the names. They make me think of a Victorian buddy cop movie.

I can imagine them being the guys you call when Sherlock Holmes is too busy.

FunWithHeadlines
FunWithHeadlines
Fri, May 21, 2010 5:38pm

“Doctor . . . should I be getting worried right about now?”

PaulW
PaulW
Fri, May 21, 2010 5:50pm

Actually there’s a Paul and a PaulW, and I was the one who asked if you thought those two were Dr. Who monsters…

They’re gonna have to re-shoot the “Fear Her” episode to include these mascots. I guarantee it’ll raise the Behind the Sofa Meter to 11.

the rook
the rook
Fri, May 21, 2010 5:51pm

as a matter of fact, i’ve already seen a creature similar to them on doctor who.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_Centauri_(Doctor_Who)

centauri appeared in two jon pertwee episodes.

LaSargenta
LaSargenta
patron
Fri, May 21, 2010 6:21pm

They’re called Wenlock and Mandeville,…

Why not Gog and Magog? Where’s the stadium in relation to the Guildhall?

Paul
Paul
Fri, May 21, 2010 6:56pm

Don’t worry, PaulW, I wasn’t going to take credit. I just didn’t have time to give it back.

Keith
Keith
Fri, May 21, 2010 7:15pm

I for one wish to welcome our new Olympic mascot overlords.

I’ve seen other people say these guys make them think “Doctor Who monster.”

Mo
Mo
Fri, May 21, 2010 7:42pm

Clearly the UK’s excessive video surveillance has started affecting the kids…

But yeah, they’re kind of like something halfway between an Adipose with lobster claws and an Atraxi.
Odd.

Proper Dave
Fri, May 21, 2010 9:25pm

Ah, the creative industries of London: specialists in grossly overpriced bullshit. I can’t help but be reminded of a friend in my north of England hometown who, on hearing I’d visited the Millennium Dome, commented: “I’ve heard it’s middle-class wank.”

PaulW
PaulW
Sat, May 22, 2010 12:34am

@the rook, I wonder why they haven’t brought more of the friendlier alien races like the Centauri or Draconians back for cameos.

Andy
Sat, May 22, 2010 2:34am

Me thinks the designers behind these one eyed monsters had been watching to much “Monsters Inc”!

Kathryn
Kathryn
Sat, May 22, 2010 5:03am

I’m going to watch Carmen at the former Millennium Dome this evening. It may have been a terrible middle-class wank of an idea back in 1999 but it’s doing rather well as a venue now. Though it’d be even better if the Jubilee line didn’t have so much engineering work on!

Proper Dave
Sat, May 22, 2010 6:47am

Ah, but I (or rather my friend) was referring to the exhibits in the Dome, which were indeed wanky in the extreme. Sorry if that wasn’t quite clear.

Althea
Althea
Sat, May 22, 2010 9:11am

Maybe there’s still time. The dreadful Atlanta mascot, “Izzy”, was even more dreadful before they redesigned it. There was a huge outcry of “Are you kidding?” and it became at least tolerable.

Of course, Atlanta revealed Izzy at Barcelona, and London is only 2 years away, so they’d better get on the stick before Wenlock and Mandeville are set in stone. Or get stoned.

At least Mandeville should be redesigned so he doesn’t look like he wet his pants.