‘Doctor Who’ thing of the day: figuring out what the heck is going on with River Song

The Doctor Who wiki TARDIS Index File is currently featuring an accidentally hilarous warning on its River Song entry:

It reads:

This article needs a big cleanup.

The main problems are biography section should be in order of her life. There are also some out of universe parts.

These problems might be so great that the article’s factual accuracy has been compromised.

That sort of reads like what’s happening inside most fans’ heads, I think.

But never fear: AndorianBlues on Reddit comes to the rescue… sort of. His/her chart “The Adventures of River Song and the Doctor” begins to attempt to impose some structure on their respective timelines. A peek:

(The whole huge thing will pop up if you click here.)

The chart makes some assumptions that I’m not sure are fair: for instance, that the Doctor and River’s kiss at the end of “Day of the Moon” is their last, from her perspective. Yes, she says something wistful about a last kiss, but since she herself has not yet come to the end of her timeline with the Doctor — “Forest of the Dead” is still in her future — she cannot possibly know that that was their last kiss.

Still, it’s a helpful start to figuring out what the heck is going on with River Song.

(Thanks to Gail for the heads-up on the chart. If you stumble across a cool Doctor Who thing, feel free to email me with a link.)

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