that actor that everyone already figured was gay comes out

gay actor

That guy from that one show — you know, the really good-looking one with the great hair — announced today that he’s gay, as if we didn’t already know. Rumors of him being seen in romantic situations with the other oh-my-god gorgeous actor from that thing last year who everyone pretty much assumes is also gay had been not dogging the guy for months. Because nobody honestly took much notice. Because really, it’s not even a big deal these days.

“Is that the guy from that show with the cops who solve crimes?” one viewer told a gossip site. “I think I saw that once. That’s the one with the gay guy and the hot blond girl? Yeah, that’s a pretty good show, I guess.”

That dude’s legions of female fans are said to not be distraught. “We’ve already signed up a wedding registry for him,” the president of his online fanclub said. “His boyfriend is totally cute. I know they’re going to be so happy together!”

The actor’s agent is denying allegations that the gay nonshocker news is an attempt to pretend that that shitty-looking movie that guy has coming out next month is something to get excited about. Cuz have you seen the trailer? It really blows.

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