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maryann johanson, ruining movies since 1997

Game of Thrones S04 E02: “The Lion and the Rose” holy crap

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(previous: “Two Swords”)

Oh my god.

I kind of want to say, “You’re not reading that right , Grandpa.” Except OMFG, this is so much more awesome than I could ever have hoped for.

Ding dong, Joffrey is dead.

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Really? I mean, he’s only mostly dead, right?

No. I think he’s really dead.

I can’t believe that, under my breath, all through that be-my-wine-carrier crap of Joffrey’s, I was muttering for Tyrion to just poison the little brat already. I still can’t believe it actually happened.

I feel like it’s 1980 and Who Shot JR? all over again. Who Poisoned Joffrey? (No fair spoiling if you’ve read the books.) I suspect Jaime. No! It’s gotta be Margaery, right? She’s on the throne now and so it was time to eliminate Joffrey. (But does she get to keep being queen? I don’t know how this stuff works in Westeros.) Anyone but Tyrion. There’s no way in hell it could actually be Tyrion. I wouldn’t put such an act past Tywin, except there doesn’t seem to be any benefit to him. A Lannister on the throne is a bonus… and a double Lannister is even more of a bonus in the very long run — like the one that extends past the point at which everyone now alive is dead — but only if it’s a secret now. Tywin would only have motive to kill someone who might reveal that Joffrey isn’t King Robert’s son, and hence shouldn’t even be on the throne at all, right?

OMFG.

Could not have happened to a nicer guy.

Oh, and Internet? I love you:

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Everything else that happened in this episode I’ve now totally forgotten.

Wait, it’s coming back…

So, earlier on, I was thinking: Bran is gonna eventually remember what he saw before Jaime pushed him out of that tower, isn’t he?

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And that was already gonna complicate the issue of just who should be on the Iron Throne even before Joffrey’s death. Now it could be even more complicated, because whoever succeeds Joffrey could have even less claim if that claim is through Joffrey.

Aside: Those trees with faces that Bran is hanging out with are creepy. And was the Bran stuff in the previous episode shot like two years ago and the Bran stuff in this episode shot much more recently? Because Isaac Hempstead Wright, between last episode and this, has suddenly stopped looking like a little boy and looks more like a young man:

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And oo, I forgot that the littlest Stark boys were believed dead and so no one is looking for them… well, till now, that is. I think Noah Taylor (whose character’s name I cannot remember from episode to episode) was happy to get out of there and go search for the Stark boys just to get away from Ramsay, who seems to squick out even him.

(Aside: Is Theon biding his time before he slashes Ramsay’s throat while shaving him, or is he truly broken? Theon was always kind of a jerk and a creep, but I feel a little bit sorry for him now.)

Anyway…

OMG! Could Joffrey’s death be some result of Melisandre’s magic? Was this

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not just a cleansing but a sacrifice in aid of clearing Stannis’s way to the Iron Throne? I don’t know how but it’s magic, so anything could happen. Even if Stannis is starting to seem somewhat sane again compared to his witch and his wife. (“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!” </princessbride> Sorry.) Maybe some of Liam Cunningham’s (I can never remember his character’s name either) rationality is rubbing off?

Isn’t it interesting that Stannis’s “deformed” daughter is hidden away while Tywin’s “deformed” son has real power? Or, at least, Tyrion had real power until Cersei had him thrown in jail. Hey, how does she get to command that, anyway? She’s back to be a relative nobody, isn’t she?

Isn’t it interesting that Melisandre’s religion, the one that so far most approximates the One True God religions most Western viewers of this show will recognize, is not depicted as very nice?

Isn’t it interesting how interesting a couple Tyrion and Sansa might turn out to be?

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They might not be in love — though that could theoretically come later; or not; doesn’t matter — but they do share a certain skepticism of the awesomeness of those in power. They could develop a kind of power of their own.

Oh dear. Brienne is in love with Jaime, isn’t she? She may not have realized it until Cersei asked

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but that deer-in-headlights look is a dead giveaway.

(Probably shouldn’t say “dead” around these people, even as a metaphor.)

But poor Jaime is so in love with his sister that he’s threatening to turn her gay fiancé into her dead gay fiancé if he actually goes through with the wedding.

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Is there going to be another deadly wedding?

(next: “Breaker of Chains”)


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