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part of a small rebellion | by maryann johanson

way too tired

It’s been a three-screening day. And that was after the trauma of writing my review of the latest Adam Sandler movie (which I’ll post on Thursday morning, as soon as the embargo lifts).

I’m way too beat to do the U.S. what-to-stream post tonight, or to write up this week’s Game of Thrones (which I have seen). First thing tomorrow.

I am getting perilously close to a fuck-it-all moment and retiring to a little cottage with 12 cats and perhaps no Internet access. Someone talk me down from that ledge…

posted in:
maryann buzz
  • Danielm80

    I really admire the work you’ve put into this site, and your persistence in keeping up this level of quality in spite of the hundreds of obstacles you have to face every day. (I don’t think I’m exaggerating the number.)

    At the moment, I’m dealing with the stress of health issues, work, and a storytelling festival I’m organizing. None of that requires the degree of commitment you’ve put into flickfilosopher.com, and I’m still ridiculously close to a nervous breakdown. (That little cottage with 12 cats sounds very appealing today.) I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to relieve your workload, or the trauma of an Adam Sandler movie, but I’m still here, wishing you strength.

  • LaSargenta

    No. I won’t. Maybe that’s what you need.

  • Bob Boatman

    You need to walk away from it for awhile, and get some perspective. No one is going to die if you don’t get your Thrones review out this week, or miss a review of any Adam Sandler movie. Your fans aren’t going to quit you for taking a few mental health days. Breathe deeply. Take a walk. Count your blessings. They are folks out of work or homeless. You watch movies :)

  • You… ah…. you don’t want 12 cats. That’s a Grade A Rookie Mistake. But retiring to a cabin in the woods sounds nice. There’s always satellite internet.

  • True enough… we don’t necessarily need a review of an Adam Sandler movie unless…. she liked it?

    But no, that’s not possible.

  • No, the world doesn’t *need* my review. Except the screening was early enough that it meant I could sell a review to the alt-weeklies in the US that run some of my stuff. And at least one of them was waiting for that review. None of those papers pay much, but since I’m not making anywhere near enough from subscriptions here, I have no choice but to take advantage of those sales as much as I can.

  • I’m close to out of work and homeless. I stick with this because I have deluded myself into thinking that my fortunes will change.

  • Danielm80

    As you probably know by now, I’m a little neurotic. I decided to “upvote” your comment, but then I started to worry; I don’t want anyone to think I’m upvoting the fact that you’re nearly homeless. So I’m posting this to say that I’m upvoting your courage and persistence, which are a huge inspiration to me, on a week when I really need inspiration.

  • Hearing that I’m an inspiration helps a little. Thanks for saying that.

  • LaSargenta

    Your work and you are inspirations and I get a lot of enjoyment from this site — which is all your work and therefore part of you.

    I’m sympathetic to the cabin the woods with cats, though. You need a break and support.

  • Curse you, Sandleeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr!

    Well, at least some good can come of the torture.

  • Bob Boatman

    Hope you are feeling better today :)

  • I have only degrees of feeling not-great these days.

  • RogerBW

    12 cats means nobody will find the body.

    I love this site because of your reviews. (It’s one of two sites I pay actual money for.) But if you burn yourself out trying to keep things going at full pace I don’t get reviews anyway.

    But you’ve had the guts to do a thing (several things) I haven’t, and I’m impressed and encouraged by this. When I walk past a poster for the latest horrid blockbuster, I think “at least MaryAnn will have something interesting to say about it, so the hundreds of millions that went into making it weren’t entirely wasted”.

    What would happen if all critics refused to review Adam Sandler films?

  • Tonio Kruger

    Do what you gotta do, MaryAnn.

    If you need to take time off, then take time off.

    If you need to work at a job you don’t particularly care for to pay your bills? Well, you would not be the first professional writer to do so and you might even get a story idea out of the experience.

    Whatever you decide, you gotta do what’s best for you.

    However, given the influence of a certain Joss Whedon movie, I would think twice about going to a cabin in the woods if I were you. :)

  • bronxbee

    then it is time to do something else that *will* make you feel great. or at least, not so miserable.

  • Except the problem isn’t the work. I love the work. And so my choice is: Keep on. Or throw away all the time and effort I have put into this work, when the payoff might be just around the corner*, and start all over again with something else.

    The other problem is, there is *some* money coming in from subscriptions. I lose that — and also the bit of money that comes in from reselling my reviews to the alt-weeklies — if I stop.

    *I’ve been telling myself “it might be just around the corner” for years, and it probably isn’t just around the corner.

  • LaSargenta

    Sumptin’ funny, mebbe will make you giggle for a mo’: http://savingroomforcats.tumblr.com/

  • Oooh, that thing men do *enrages* me.

  • bronxbee

    but the payoff is not making you happy — and you seem to have made it all part and parcel of your general mood and life. i’m all for you doing whatever you feel is best for you. i would like to see you amply rewarded. but when is enough enough? or are you like the old george burns quote, “I’d rather be out of work in a business I love, than make a fortune selling hats?” he had a lot of years on the road and the vaudeville circuit before he made a decent living at his act — most of which was due to partnering with gracie allen.

  • Yes. I know. I’m totally fucked.

  • Danielm80

    If I were more of a jerk, I’d feel obligated to respond, “What? And leave show business?”

    (http://ask.metafilter.com/117904/Whats-the-joke-thas-hase-the-punchline-what-and-give-up-show-business for those who don’t know the joke)

    But speaking as someone who’s had a difficult time finding intelligent film discussion (or intelligent discussion of any kind) on the Internet, I really appreciate the fact that she’s still here.

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