Complaining about the Oscars are about as traditional as the Oscars themselves. But, man, was this the worst Oscars ever, or what? Perhaps unsurprisingly, host Seth MacFarlane went directly into Family Guy mode, trotting out every racist, sexist, homophobic angle he could come up with. As Salon noted:
Seth MacFarlane’s opening number featured numerous musical numbers — including one mocking actresses who’d played nude, in an apparent tribute to the theory of the male gaze.
Even the stuff that started out funny — such as William Shatner’s arrival from the future to stop MacFarlane from committing the worst Oscars ever — dragged on way too long and eventually ended up feeling like its own gosh-darn pretend-apology boys-will-be-boys justification: Hey, I’m smacking myself for being a naughty boy! Ain’t I cute?
It’s enough to make me wonder whether the anomalously clever MacFarlane I saw in Ted wasn’t actually there at all.
MacFarlane aside, then there are the things that the Oscars are supposed to be about: the movies, and the people who make them. (Though, as always, you’d be forgiven for guessing from what ended up on screen that the Oscars are actually about long musical numbers and not letting winners speak.) The awards were spread around a lot, to the point of one category — sound editing — seeing a rare tie. I’m happy with Argo winning Best Picture, though I do think Django Unchained is a better film, if only by just a smidge. I’m delighted that both films won the screenplay awards — though, seriously: Tarantino couldn’t do up his tie? — particularly since I thought they should but figured they wouldn’t. (For those subscribers who got my predictions earlier in the week, I made guesses in 23 of the 24 categories, and got 13 of my will-win’s correct. Which is only slightly better than chance. See the complete list of winners here.)
What did you love and hate about the Oscars?
(Joaquin Phoenix GIF from Gawker.)
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MacFarlane’s song about “boobs” was awful! All the actresses looked really uncomfortable during that. Also, four of the movies he sang about seeing boobs in were movies where the character was raped. Disgusting.
He could have sung “I Saw Your Dick– Wait, No I Didn’t Because That Hardly Ever Happens in Movies.” Could have been especially pertinent this year with *The Sessions* being so brazen about its female nudity and male lack thereof.
But that would have required MacFarlane being *actually* dangerous, as opposed to just crude and obvious.
That reminds me! Have you seen this yet?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/13/male-full-frontal-nudity-supercut-mashup-video-nsfw_n_2681753.html
He could have sung “I saw your pussy, oh wait, that actually happens a LOT less than seeing dick in movies”
I love that I didn’t watch it, hate the entire idea of award shows.
Worst? No. Anne Hathaway and James Franco–that was the absolute nadir of the Oscars. My brain can still never be fully scrubbed of the image of Franco dressed in what looked like prison bitch drag. Ugh.
Here, at least, we got to see Shatner as the *real* James T. Kirk!
The idea of openly mocking how bad Oscar opening numbers have been backfired because itself was so terribly bad. I couldn’t keep watching. I woke up to check the results this morning. Argo for Best Picture? It felt like Hollywood patting itself on the back for doing such a good job rescuing people out of Iran. Lincoln or Life of Pi would have been more acceptable (I personally still feel Avengers AND Skyfall should have at least been nominated and that Skyfall was Best Pic).
I was also personally upset that Skyfall didn’t win for best cinematography – the Shanghai sequences alone especially the one-take fight between Bond and the assassin earned it – and that Pixar won the Best Animated by default over the more inventive and enjoyable Wreck-It Ralph.
Lincoln’s set designs were better than Les Miz or Hobbit? No.
I do have to ask: when was the last time there was a tie? Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty tied for Best Sound, right?
I stopped watching about 30 seconds into the “boobs” song. It was absolutely typical McFarlane – a sophomoric and tasteless throwaway joke hammered to death by dragging it on way too long. It was everything I expected and feared.
By the way, Paul, according to the NY Times, the last tie was in 1994 for Best Live-Action Short.
The truth is, the Oscars have always been pretty mediocre, because the hosts are prevented from doing the things they’re best at. Jon Stewart couldn’t tell political jokes. Ellen DeGeneres couldn’t tell rambling personal stories. Anne Hathaway and James Franco couldn’t create characters. Billy Crystal comes across better than average, when he hosts, because his act is basically a bland talk show monologue.
But even if you watched the show with low expectations, Seth MacFarlane was still really awful, and he was awful for three reasons:
(1.) He couldn’t tell off-color jokes.
(2.) He doesn’t have much experience as an emcee.
(3.) He’s Seth MacFarlane.
But his Rex Reed joke was pretty funny.
Maybe not always. I remember several very warm reviews of Hugh Jackman when he hosted.
Not from me, but I didn’t like his singing in Les Miserables, either, so maybe I’m the exception.
Oh, come on. This is classic. ;-)
But beyond the singing (like it or not), Jackman was gracious, self-deprecating, and able to entertain without being crass or mean-spirited.
That musical tribute was by far the funniest thing that has ever happened on the Oscars. I still laugh every time I think of “Ladies and gentleman, your Craig’s List dancers!”
Steve Martin got some warm reviews as well. As did the late Johnny Carson.
Hated:
-Every excruciating second of Seth MacFarlane, and I say that as somebody who generally has a very high tolerance for his work. Every one of his jokes fell completely flat, and everyone in the room seemed to barely be tolerating him.
-Deakins not winning for cinematography. Yes, Life of Pi was amazing with pretty CG, but it doesn’t hold a candle to Skyfall.
-Anna Karenina not winning for art direction.
Loved:
-All the acting wins. All four of my Should Wins won!
Meryl Streep not even bothering to open the envelope for Best Actor. Although, watching it again, she may have opened it during the montage.
-Denzel Washington’s knowing eyebrow waggle during his Best Actor clip, revealing that he is drunk at the Oscars.
-Every adorable second of Jennifer Lawrence before, during, and after the show. Even though I hate McDonald’s, I think it’s hilarious that she sent one of her entourage to get her some fries during the red carpet interviews. “Tell them to give you ketchup! They never do it unless you ask!” Also, the post-award interview where she meets Jack Nicholson for the first time is amazing.
Confused:
-Surprise Obama!
I am totally with you on Skyfall getting snubbed for Cinematography.
MacFarlane was an awkward host. Argo had more popular support than Lincoln, so I am not surprised that it got the nod for Best Picture…my only real disappointment of the night was Sally Field losing to Anne Hathaway for Best Supporting Actress–Hathaway’s performance in Les Mis was strong, but nowhere near the same league as Field’s performance in Lincoln.
Ah well; not the first time I’ve disagreed with the Academy’s voting decisions.
I think Argo ended up winning in no small part because the Actor’s branch thumbing their collective noses at the Director’s branch. Which is not to say it didn’t deserve it, but politics and professional jealousy certainly played a part in the final tally. Which, it should be noted, I think is fine. It’s just an industry award show, it what is already the most self-congratulatory industry on Earth, not a political election. >.>
I haven’t watched the ceremony but is it true that the guys who received the Best Visual Effects award for The Life Of Pi were going to make a speech about terrible labor conditions and hollywood greed that led to the bankruptcy of their company only to be cut off Micheal Moore style? If that’s true, then I nominate that for the “hate” list.
The “Boobs” song was a vision of one of the things McFarlane would do to ruin the Oscars later on, and in this “alternate reality” context, it was pretty funny (especially when he landed on Kate Winslet), with the actresses’ reactions being obviously fake. I thought he was pretty charming and geeky; here’s a HUGE movie fan hosting the Oscar’s. Admittedly, I didn’t like his Rihanna/Chris Brown joke, although it’s interesting (in a sociological kind of way) to see the amount of people going out of their way to ruin Chris Brown’s image further.
Things I liked:
– Shelly Bassey, “Goldfinger”
– Adele, “Skyfall”
– Seth McFarlane’s “sock puppet” version of “Flight”
– Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar winner
– Anne Hathaway, Oscar winner
– DDL’s Best Actor speech
– Ben Affleck’s stunned reaction
The women were WAY more entertaining than the men last night! Seth MacFarlane was sometimes good but he sucked an awful lot.
I love the idea of a salute to 50 years of James Bond, but found the edited film portion poorly edited, more along the line of images tossed into a muddle with no driving force or idea behind it. Plus, it was shocking that they were too cheap to pay for the original music to go with the edited clips! For instance, they had the (elevator music-level) orchestra (lackadaisically) play “Live and Let Die” instead of a sound clip of the original song. Bassey was probably amazing, but it was hard to tell with that orchestra and the crappy sound.
Worse than the orchestra? The sound-mixing. Gah!
I find it amusing that Barbara Streisand sang and nobody, but nobody, seems to be making anything resembling a big deal about it.
After McFarlane heaped praise on Hallie Berry while introducing her, I wanted Berry to come out and say, “Too little, too late, jerk.”
Surely chance would give you one in five, or one in ten, rather than one in two?
Having a pre-recorded Bond montage seems weird; what, they couldn’t get any of the actors to turn up?
I just wonder who the audience is for this sort of show. Clearly it’s out there…