The Lego Batman Movie review: give a minifig
A great Batman movie, a great superhero movie, and a gloriously bonkers expression of the sublime silliness of crime fighters in capes, and our love of them.
epic
Ben-Hur movie review: it’s fine, everything is fine
It’s not great. It’s not terrible. It is bland manufactured entertainment product. It’s fine. Hollywood is not creatively bankrupt. Everything is fine.
Warcraft: The Beginning (aka Warcraft) movie review: guest review by a white male teenage nerd from 1987
Like all Frazetta fantasy posters came to life all at once. A masterpiece of cinema that truly speaks to the interests of white male teenage nerds from 1987.
Gods of Egypt movie review: those whom the gods wish to punish, they force to watch this movie
Hilariously, casting white Westerners as mortals and deities of the ancient Nile is the least offensive thing about this crime against goofball cinema.
Alice Through the Looking Glass movie review: a mirror cracked
Believes six impossible things — like implausible character motivations, or big emotions — because they’re in the script, without bothering to earn them.
X-Men: Apocalypse movie review: everyone knows the third movie is always the worst
About precisely nothing other than pure pulp comic-book soap-opera rigmarole, overshadowed by clichés, implausibilities, and missed opportunities.
The Jungle Book movie review: welcome to the jungle
Goes right up to the bleeding edge of cinema to tell a story that is strapping yet simple, and hugely appealing. Disney found a good reason to redo an old film.
The Huntsman: Winter’s War movie review: snow what?
It’s a prequel and a sequel! It’s got girl powerrr and lady-hating! It’s a mashup of Lord of the Rings and Frozen! It’s all these things, and less.
The Boy and the Beast movie rating: yellow light
A few instances of gorgeous and magical imagery cannot make up for the lack of genuine emotion or a fresh story. Strictly for devoted anime fans.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens movie review: a new hope
Charts a path to a future that refuses to get mired in nostalgia. Yet all the Star Wars notes are here, remixed into a glorious new arrangement.
