Earnest and humorless, this is a faux-intellectual Comic Book Guy ponderously well-actually-ing us about shallow superhero tropes and clichés as if those are the most intriguing bits of these stories.
Lurid and squicky, Split treads water and keeps too many secrets on a dull path to the revelation of its self-satisfied cleverness.
The ending might have worked going to grandma’s house once upon a time, but it doesn’t work in 2015.
Over the river and through the woods to yet another banal, anticlimactic attempt at storytelling from M. Night Shyamalan. And this time, it’s found-footage.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be from a terrible film. I can imagine someone otherwise loving Citizen Kane who thinks the discovery of Rosebud’s identity at the end is howlingly idiotic.
Listen for that faux solemn Charlton Heston-esque voice in your head saying, “And the planet was known as Earth.”
Plus: Has the flopping of Arthur killed 80s remakes? Can Robert Pattinson kill Edward with Water for Elephants? Can we send M. Night Shyamalan back to film school?…
Ever drop your toast and despair to watch it land on the floor jelly side down? You know who’s responsible for such calamity, don’t you? Satan. It’s true.
All I can think about is M. Night Shyamalan’s risible The Happening, and poor Alan Ruck having to deliver one of the most awful lines of dialogue in the history of movies: ‘There appears to be an event occurring.’
At the behest of several readers who appear to believe they know my taste better than I know it, and also in an attempt to figure out just what the hell M. Night Shyamalan was thinking with his The Last Airbender, I watched the entire first season of Nickelodeon’s pseudo-anime series Avatar: The Last Airbender.