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That’s My Boy (review)

That's My Boy red light Andy Samberg Adam Sander

I’m “biast” (pro): nothing

I’m “biast” (con): despise Sandler, and this looked even worse than his usual garbage

(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)


I don’t know what I was thinking. Why would I subject myself to this? Adam Sander’s pedophilia and child-abuse comedy? I knew — I knew — it was going to be dreadful. Abysmal, even. So why did I bother? Was it the eternal cinematic optimist in me? I mean, I’m open to an Adam Sandler movie making me laugh. It’s happened before: I’m not ashamed to admit that I found You Don’t Mess With the Zohan surprisingly funny and unexpectedly sweet.

But it was not to be in this case. That’s My Boy isn’t as bad as the trailer made it look — it’s worse. This may be the most repulsive movie I’ve ever seen. Seventh-grader Donny (Justin Weaver) is repeatedly raped by teacher Miss McGarricle (Eva Amurri Martino: Saved!, The Banger Sisters), but you’d barely guess a crime had been committed here. Sure, McGarricle is sent to prison for 30 years, but the film treats this like it’s a travesty, a miscarriage of justice, for Donny and Miss McGarricle were soulmates — soulmates, I tell you — and Donny is treated like a hero not only by his schoolmates and even *gag* other teachers but by the entire society. He was a pop culture champion in the 1990s, had a TV movie made about his life story, buddied up with the likes of Vanilla Ice. And now, today, Donny (Sandler: Jack and Jill, Just Go with It) is a tragic figure: alone, alcoholic, incapable of forming an adult relationship. No, not because he has apparently never recovered from the confusing and horrific sexual abuse he was subjected to as a child. But because fickle pop culture moved on — just like it did for Vanilla Ice!

This is like the evil Mirror Universe version of Ted. Everything that that film got right about GenX nostalgia and holding on to comforting childhood things, this movie twists into something horrific and scarring and vile.

Who conceives of such an atrocity? Is screenwriter David Caspe himself a pedophile who thinks it’s okay for adults to force themselves sexually on children who are unable to give consent? I’m not being flip: I simply don’t see how the question can be avoided. Doesn’t participation in this story condone what it depicts so uncritically? Is director Sean Anders, who made the only slightly less repulsive Sex Drive (yet also the witty indie mockumentary Never Been Thawed), sympathetic to pedophiles? Is Susan Sarandon (Cloud Atlas, Arbitrage), who appears here as the older McGarricle? Does Adam Sandler think adults raping children is awesome? Because there is no way — no way at all — that anything here can be construed as averse to the idea of adult women having sex with tween boys. This is a celebration of such a perverse “relationship.”

Yet even as it celebrates, it doles out its own form of dehumanizing abuse. For this isn’t just Donny’s story: it’s also the story of Todd (Andy Samberg: What’s Your Number?, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs), the unfortunate offspring of Donny and Miss McGarricle’s depraved intimacies. Todd was also the victim of sustained abuse, for he was left with the child Donny and Donny’s abusive father to be raised, because it’s “funny” for abused children to be raising children. (The appalling insensitivity to the real horrors of child abuse may be the most abhorrent thing about this disgusting excuse for a comedy. There is not a single speck of human feeling in this.) All of the now-adult Todd’s neuroses, which are perfectly understandable considering the hell his life has been, are held up for ridicule. The entire movie is constructed around inventing outrageous scenarios to kick Todd in the teeth and sabotage all his attempts to claim for himself a healthy, happy life, represented most notably by his impending marriage to Jamie (Leighton Meester: The Oranges, Country Strong). Todd, a genuinely nice man, is mocked and derided at every turn by the film, while Donny — who of course crashes Todd’s wedding years after Todd removed himself from Donny’s life — cannot do anything too crude or too obnoxious or too just-plain-stupid to make everyone around him find him utterly charming and want to fuck him instantly.

The random grossouts and nonstop vulgarity are so typically Sandler that they’re not worth noting. But to set up Donny as, in the end, a voice of respectability who can lecture others on morality and what love really is takes a level of gall perhaps unprecedented in fiction. How could anyone have imagined that any of this was less than irredeemably ugly?


UK
DVD/streaming

Amazon UK DVD
US/Canada release date: Jun 15 2012 | UK release date: Sep 7 2012

Flick Filosopher Real Rating: rated ODGNJN: oh dear god no just no
MPAA: rated R for crude sexual content throughout, nudity, pervasive language and some drug use
BBFC: rated 15 (contains strong language, sex references and drug use)

viewed at home on a small screen

official site | IMDb | trailer
more reviews: Movie Review Query Engine | Rotten Tomatoes
  • Dr. Rocketscience

    I don’t know what I was thinking. Why would I subject myself to this?

    That’s the first thing I thought when I saw this on the main page. :(

  • Beowulf

    I get annoyed at people who reject films without ever bothering to see them. Yet in this case who couldn’t see this piece of garbage coming from a mile away?

  • FSugino

    A Haunted House has this one beat. And no, I’m not proud to know that.

  • CB

     Same here, and I would really like to know.  There was no reason for this.  Of all movies with trailers that made them look terrible that could have benefited from a MAJ review to help us poor viewers with limited movie-watching time suss out which ones were worth it and which weren’t… This wasn’t one of them.  There’s no chance this was worth anyone’s time, money, or braincells that would surely be lost.

  • Jurgan

    At times, you have to make some pre-judgments.  Life’s too short to see every movie.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Sorry. I *am* planning to make a more concerted effort to seek out lesser known films (that are nevertheless still available to lots of people) to review. Consider this a last gasp of… something.

  • RogerBW

    Many adolescent boys think they want sex all the time. So obviously they’re right, because what other opinion would matter?

    Hey, it’s the ideal relationship – when the guy gets bored with her, she gets locked up.

  • LaSargenta

    Worse than Piranha 3DD?

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Much worse.

  • CB

     That sounds great, but just to be clear I wasn’t really bemoaning the lost opportunity to review something else so much as your needless suffering.  It was painful just reading about your experience.   So please don’t apologize, I’m the one who’s sorry.  :(

  • Beowulf

    And there are so many GOOD films, foreign and American, that are out there for us to find and enjoy.  Yep, life’s too short for crap films.

  • Beowulf

    Check out DVDSavant and Greenbriar Picture Shows. A person could spend the rest of his or her life watching older but still great films!

  • Patlandness

    “Hey, it’s the ideal relationship – when the guy gets bored with her, she gets locked up.”

    No, its a grown woman who should know better, taking sexual advantage of a minor and getting locked up.  To say otherwise is a roundabout way of blaming the victim.

  • Danielm80

     I think the screenwriter learned everything he knows about life from the “Hot for Teacher” video.

  • Danielm80

    The Internet really needs [sarcasm] tags. Since it doesn’t have them, just assume that most of what you read on the Web is snark.

  • RogerBW

    Well, yeah, that’s the problem.

    This is written from a (presumably) adult (David Caspe turns 35 this year) screenwriter’s idea of what an adolescent boy’s fantasy would be.
    Everyone else is just a bit-player in that fantasy.

    The fact that in the real world it would be unambiguously rape is simply being ignored.
    The fact that in the real world the boy would very probably be seriously damaged by the whole experience is simply being ignored.
    Yay, sex. Yay, uncomplicated sex for the teenage boy hero – that’s what teenage boys want, right? Who cares what happens to anyone else?

  • http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1186107134 MarkyD

    Controversial post alert!
    How old is the boy being raped? Is he enjoying the experience? Are they both consenting(regardless of age) to having sex together? I just think “rape” is such a harsh word and is sometimes used where it shouldn’t be. I don’t see two people enjoying themselves being rape in any way. A teenage boy getting to have sex with a teacher? I’m sure plenty of boys dream of this. And yet somehow she is raping him?
    Now, if she was somehow doing this forcibly, and he wasn’t enjoying  it, or was even harmed by the experience, then it’s totally rape. And, yes, I know there can be mental/social issues down the road from such an experience. But you might also just have a kid who thought it was pretty darn cool to bang his teacher, and moves on to have a perfectly normal and productive life.
    I understand I’m way off the proper thought process on this one. I guess my idea of rape is skewed by the classic “male forces female into sex” mindset.
    I’m sure this movie is godawful, and will never see it. I just had to chime in, though.

  • Danielm80

    But you might also just have a kid who thought it was pretty darn cool to bang his teacher, and moves on to have a perfectly normal and productive life.

    Not to be a smart-ass, but I think that’s possible only in a world where all the stories in Penthouse Forum are true.

  • amanohyo

    I used to be a high school teacher, so I’ll go ahead and play angel’s advocate.  There were three female students that had serious crushes on me at various times in my career, ages sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen.  If I was to give in to my baser urges, we would have been consenting, and there’s a good chance that we would have enjoyed the experience.  I’m pretty sure plenty of girls dream of this.  This isn’t me bragging – many girls are incredibly horny in their late teens and not very discriminating when it comes to older men.  Any reasonably attractive young male teacher eventually encounters one or more very forward female students.

    And yet, even if one of these girls thought it was pretty darn cool to bang her teacher and moved on to have a perfectly normal and productive life (good luck predicting this), I would consider such an act to have been rape.  An adult having sex with a child is almost always rape whether it is consensual or not, regardless of gender because the typical teenager is a giant sopping sponge of hormones and insecurities.  Think back to when you were a teen – you may have had a lot of sex, but were you capable of making rational decisions about sex?  On top of that, the teacher-student relationship is inherently unbalanced which further compounds the immorality.

    Are there grey areas?  Sure, I can concoct a scenario in which the teacher does not have the student in his or her class and the student is eighteen while the teacher is twenty-two.  The two could meet outside of school and hit it off, etc. but for the vast majority of cases, it’s rape.  The teacher is in a position of power and the student is not in a position to understand the full implications of their actions.  A female teacher could go into the boy’s bathroom and give hand jobs to her willing middle school students, and I can assure you that they would enjoy the experience.  However, even though it isn’t forced and everyone is having a blast (literally), it’s still rape in my book.  

    Incidentally, I also believe that Woody Allen raped Soon-Yi.  He didn’t use physical force (as far as I know), but he took advantage of an inherent imbalance of power in their relationship.  The same goes for therapists who have sex with their patients, bosses that have sex with their subordinates, and professors that have sex with their students.  The age element is only important to the extent that it introduces a severe imbalance in power, understanding, and self-control.  There are a few young people, wise beyond their years, who can go toe to toe intellectually and physically with a dull and inexperienced adult (good luck identifying one of these in a sea of pretenders Humbert), but for the most part it’s rape.  I understand that some would like to reserve the word rape for cases in which physical force is used and one of the participants is unwilling, but there are plenty of ways to rape someone without ever lifting a finger, so to speak.  Rape is ultimately about taking advantage of an imbalance of power. If a hypnotist has sex with one of her subjects, and he loves every second of it, and he’s absolutely thrilled when he wakes up and learns what happened, guess what?  It’s still rape.

  • http://savelin.tumblr.com/ Lenina Crowne

    Must we?

    Must we?

    An adolescent cannot meaningfully consent to sex with his adult teacher. Period. Like if I held a gun to your head and said “do you want to have sex with me?” even if you said “yes” that’s not a meaningful yes.  Even if you enjoyed it. Even if it maybe would have turned out you’d have said yes without the gun there. That’s a somewhat extreme example but the idea is that a) kids don’t know what the fuck they’re doing and can be extremely pliant, and b) it’s a lot harder to say “no” to an authority figure of any kind. Maybe the teacher never SAID “if you turn down sex with me I’ll give you an F for the semester” but nevertheless the specter of that tacit threat hangs over any sexual encounter that might have happened.

    “I’m sure plenty of boys dream of this” what the fuck. Are you saying that if this were a real life situation you’d be like “eh, I’m sure he enjoyed it” because if so I pity any teenage boys you know.

    So you had to chime in? Really? You HAD to?

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    That’s true, but I was referring to films debuting on on-demand. There’s an increasing number of them, and on-demand is turning into the new arthouse.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Would you have made the same argument if it were an adult male teacher and a 12- or 13-year-old female student? Or a male teacher and a male student?

    Yes. She is raping him. There is no question about it. Yes, your idea of rape is skewed. Perhaps you’re not used to a power dynamic in which a woman has more power than a boy or man. But such situations do exist, and sometimes women take advantage of them.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    I’ve found another upside to subjecting myself to this film: I can now answer, unequivocally, when asked “What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?”

    (This is a frequent question I get. Often it’s the second one after “What’s your favorite movie?”

  • Lady Tenar

    A pre-teen kid cannot consent to sex with an adult. CANNOT CONSENT. Even if the kid enjoys it, it is still sexual abuse. It’s actually not uncommon for child victims of sexual abuse to experience pleasure. The idea that if you enjoyed it, it can’t be abuse (an idea which you are promoting) is one of the reasons people who were sexually abused in childhood frequently experience so much shame. And the idea that an adult female having sex with a pre-teen boy is that boy “getting lucky” (an idea which you are also promoting) is also a major barruer to boys and men who have experienced this reporting their abuse or admitting that it hurt them, because they know it won’t be taken seriously–don’t they know how much boys dream about that stuff, after all? Guess what, pubescent children are discovering sexuality and have fantasies about adults sometimes.That doesn’t make it okay for adults to have sex with pubescent children. I had the hots for Leonardo Dicaprio in 6th grade. Does that mean if would have been okay for a 20-something man to have sex with a 6th grade girl?

    There’s a reason your thought process about this isn’t considered “proper”–at least by people like Mary Ann. If so many people didn’t,  in fact, think your views are perfectly proper, we wouldn’t have the problems with victim-blaming and dismissing victims’ accounts that we do now.

  • Lady Tenar

    Oh, he totally had to, Lenina. I mean, SOMEBODY had to speak up for the poor, silenced rape apologists, since there’s is a point of view we just never hear!

  • http://twitter.com/mcjwserenity Matt Clayton

    I actually agree with you. This movie and Transylmania are the worst films I’ve ever seen. I feel really bad for Andy Samberg, the guy deserved better for his feature film debut.

  • http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1186107134 MarkyD

    I cannot reply to everyone, so I am replying to MaryAnn.
    Obviously, I have shown a level of ignorance that I am not accustomed to showing. I didn’t  even do a modicum of research before posting that up, and I apologize for that. I wasn’t even aware that statutory rape was spefically for adult/minor sexual activity. I have since rectified this.
    BUT(and there is always a but), I feel the need to clear a few things up.
    Of course I know all levels of rape are wrong. Of course I am aware of manipulation, and the life long damage that can do to a child.
    But for me, rape is not rape. They need to be handled on a case specific basis, as I hope they are.
    Examples:
    -A woman is sleeping. A man, breaks into her home, beats her up, and proceeds to rape her. She is now traumatized for life, and is haunted by this forever.
     - A 16 year old boy and a 35 year old woman have sex. There is no force involved. There may or may not by some sort of mental manipulation. There is no relationship, and they both go on living their lives. I have no clue if he will be mentally affected for life. How could any of us?
    These two cases are treated differently, I hope? The male rapist and the female rapist do not get equal time in jail, do they?
    And then what if we have a quiet introverted female who has an attraction to a 16 year old boy. The boy is aware of this, and manipulates HER into sex. What happens here? Is she still the rapist? By law, she is, right? So she ends up in jail for allowing herself to be manipulated?
    This whole topic baffles me, and I regret posting about it. Still, it’s a conversation that should be had. I just think we can’t throw a blanket over the whole thing. Like other crimes, there are varying levels that cannot be handled with one overarching word. Case by case, person by person, is the only way to go. I appreciate everyone’s responses, and thank you for furthering my education on the topic.

  • http://twitter.com/lescarr lescarr

    As a point of information, there is a crime defined by the UK’s Sexual Offences Act 2003 called “Abuse of Position of Trust” in which someone who is over 18 engages in sexual activity with someone for whom they hold a position of trust and who is under 18. See http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/part/1/crossheading/abuse-of-position-of-trust

    Regardless of the normal permissible age for sexual activity in the UK (16), this offence relates to the abuse of authority for sexual gratification and is not altered by consent.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Adults are *always* responsible for a sexual “relationship” with a child. *Always.*

    It could well be argued that even between consenting adults, where there is absolutely no question of rape, some sort of manipulation may be involved when it comes to sex. (Seduction is a kind of manipulation.) Adults have all sorts of reasons and rationales for engaging in sexual activity, not all of which come down to simple attraction. The difference is that *they are adults* and are presumed to be capable of making a rational, reasonable decision to engage in such behavior.

    Children, on the other hand, do not yet have fully formed brains and *are not capable* of making adult decisions. This is why we do not allow children to do many adult things, such as vote, join the military, drive, sign legal contracts, and so on.

    It’s a little disturbing how much thought you’ve given to your 16-year-old boy/35-year-old woman scenario. Yes, she’s still a rapist. Yes, she’s entirely at fault. Yes, it is wrong of her to “let” herself be “manipulated” into sex with a child. She’s supposed to know that’s wrong.

    The *only* scenarios in which statutory rape laws make no sense — and there are real cases like this — are where one partner is *just* over the age of consent and the other partner *just* under. If an 18-year-old has sex with a 17-year-old in a consensual situation, that should not be treated as rape. And courts are coming around to treated such situations more humanely.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    I don’t disagree about how badly Samberg was treated here, but this isn’t his feature debut — he’s been in a handful of other films.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/NDUF6QLHDN7ASRUM2H6SUQCM6E Paul

    I do actually agree with you on this, but I think your last paragraph is telling. Because the age of consent is arbitrary, as you effectively point out. It’s a line we draw, and then say: “Over this you’re responsible, under it you’re not” which is a statement of law, not reality. None of which in any way excuses any form of rape, or rape apology. But it does demonstrate that the question of power relationships and manipulation is a whole lot more complex than the law on minors. In a way, MarkyD is right: we throw a blanket over this to simplify matters. On the other hand, I think he could well be wrong in suggesting that’s a bad thing: a complex topic like this can at least have a zone of simplicity where it is cut-and-dried what is wrong. And if that zone isn’t sex with a minor, where is it?

    But then I think the offence of Abuse of a Position of Trust, which Les points out, is a useful additional sanction to have.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/NDUF6QLHDN7ASRUM2H6SUQCM6E Paul

    One thing that boggled me here was the idea that Todd would be raised by Donny and his father: I simply can’t understand how it’s possible to suggest that, even in a film of this type. Granted, I live in Japan where fathers almost never get custody, or even visiting rights, but is there any conceivable way in which this situation could actually arise in the US? How do they explain it in the film? Or don’t they?

  • http://savelin.tumblr.com/ Lenina Crowne

    It is mentioned in MAJ’s review that the teacher was sent to prison for 30 years, so that’s probably why she didn’t get custody. She was found guilty of statutory rape so kids aren’t safe around her. Besides that, how can you raise a kid from within prison? 

    And I’m not clear on how the whole thing works when one or both of the parents is underage, but I mean I guess they couldn’t *force* Adam Sandler to give up the baby for adoption/foster care if he didn’t do anything wrong, which he didn’t. And Donny would have had enough money from all the publicity stuff he did and he would have had an adult (his dad) helping him out so I guess CPS wasn’t concerned.

  • http://savelin.tumblr.com/ Lenina Crowne

    I don’t really understand where you’ve gotten the idea that people don’t consider rape on a case-by-case basis. We do consider crimes on a case-by-case basis. We have a court system with judges and lawyers and juries.

    Are there gray areas sometimes? Yes. There are also gray areas in murder, for example first-degree-murder, second-degree-murder, manslaughter, involuntary manslaughter, killing in self-defense. Other laws, too. If you beat somebody up with your fists it carries a different sentence than if you do it with a weapon. But when it’s murder we all seem to accept the twin axioms that a) all murders are wrong, but b) some murders are worse than others.

    The people in your scenarios would get different sentences because in the first situation the rapist is also guilty of breaking and entering and battery in addition to rape, whereas the second rapist is only guilty of the rape.

    Since you’re so fond of hypothetical situations, here’s one: an adult has sex with a one-year-old. That one-year-old grows up to not remember the incident at all and does not have any appreciable mental scars about it. Is the adult in this situation thus not guilty of rape? Of course not.

  • Danielm80

    I’ve been watching a lot of clips from The West Wing lately. I like this quote from President Bartlet:

    This is a debate that is obviously going to continue in town halls, city halls, state legislatures, and the U.S. House of Representatives. There is a population in this country that seems to focus so much time and energy into this conversation, so much so that I am forced to ask this question — is there an epidemic of flag burning going on that I’m not aware of? I mean it, man, is there an emergency-level outbreak of flag desecration no one’s kept me posted on?

    So I have to ask: Are there a lot of teenagers out there in mature, healthy sexual relationships with adults? Is there a huge population of couples being persecuted, unfairly, by the legal system? Because most of the cases of statutory rape on the news–and there have been quite a few–seem to be, y’know, statutory rape.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/NDUF6QLHDN7ASRUM2H6SUQCM6E Paul

    Now you see that’s the bit that boggled me: the way that Donny is, on the one hand, a minor, and on the other someone with full parental rights. I’m perhaps an irredeemable European socialist scumbag, but I would have said that there was every reason to force Donny to give up the baby. The idea that the money, of all things, makes it OK deeply disturbs me.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    This occured to me, too. It is within the realm of possibility, however extremely likely it may be, that an adult woman (or a man) could be raped and not suffer from any longlasting consequences or aftereffects — that is to say, she (or he) gets over it and moves on with her (or his) life. Would that mean a rape has not occured?

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Actually, I did not say the age of consent was arbitrary, and I don’t think is *is* arbitrary. I said someone just over the age of consent and someone just under the age of consent are obviously peers and equals in a way that a “couple” with a huge age disparity are not. In other words, if, say, a 50-year-old adult had a relationship with a teen, there may be qualitative legal differences if that teen is 17 or 18 years old, but I don’t think there are qualitative ethical differences.

  • RogerBW

    Well, I’d certainly argue that age of consent is arbitrary – just look at the way it varies even across countries of similar culture. Whatever age you pick, there will be some people under it who are capable of making decisions like adults, and some people over it who aren’t. It’s not ideal, but it’s a much simpler proxy for mental competence than any of the others that are out there.

  • LaSargenta

    Age of Consent as regards sex is arbitrary. It still has a surprising amount of variety around the US and there is variety between countries. Fed law is 18 — but this only applies when crossing state lines is at issue. State laws have gotten a lot closer to each other in my lifetime, but still vary between 16 and 18. There is still a wider variety allowed if the sex partners in question are married. (I don’t remember the current ranges for that, though.) In my understanding, frequently historically the age of sexual consent laws also only had effect on females under some age. Males were left out of it. Not very fair to them.

    Frankly, I find “age when…” laws to be essentially arbitrary. Even if we can point to statistical studies determining a “best” age to be given a right or a duty, they are subject to the randomness of the bell curve.

    For years, men would get drafted at 18 but could only vote at 21. Then, we got the 26th Amendment to the Constitution which standardized it nationwide and between Federal and State elections. The Draft was for 18 year old men, but 17 for volunteers with parental (or guardian) permission. (Military service is still this way. You — male or female — can enlist with parental permission at 17.)

    Drinking ages used to be all over the place.  Same with driving. When I was in my early teens, it was still legal for 13 year-olds to have a special license in rural parts of the state my father lived in. They could drive on regular roads and not just in farm machinery.

    I do find it ironic that we get to vote, sign a legally binding contract (like a lease or a will) and have to register for Selective Service (ok, “we” don’t, I’m female and was not required to do that…men are still discriminated into that role) at 18, but we can’t drink alcohol legally until 21. If I were a man, I could have enlisted and been shot at but not had a beer when off-duty ’cause I’m not grown up enough.

    AND! May I point out that until recently, buying cigarettes was allowed at 16. Not any more, and it was a HUGE battle to change that due to the tobacco lobby.

    In case you couldn’t tell, I took/take these laws personally. I vividly remember the lack of legal power I had as a minor. I had a lot of responsibilities as a result of having a parent with mental illness and I had NO legal authority. I was making adult decisions nearly every day of my ‘childhood’ and had to also frequently figure out how to manipulate some ‘adult’ in a position of authority (whatever that might be) to ‘spontaneously’ see things my way and push it/them through on my behalf although on paper they were on others’ behalf.  I also happened to be engaging in ‘carnal activities’ as a minor and, even, at what most would probably consider a dangerously young age. They were fun and personal and none of anyone else’s biz as far as I was concerned. They were also nearly all my idea. When they weren’t, I can tell you that I was consenting de facto, although I wasn’t consenting de jure. Most of my partners were quite a bit older than myself, most didn’t know how much older. Considering that I spent a lot of time outside of school moving amongst adults, dressing like them, doing my very best to act like them (and generally being believable until I had to provide an ID, which was rarer in those days than now) to get what I needed, I don’t think it is a surprise that I didn’t spend long enough in the company of other teens to date any nor even make out.

    Be that as it may…

    All relationships are about power and the power described in the review and the way it sounds like it is being portrayed is FUBB.

  • RogerBW

    The drinking age thing was back-door federalism, of course: “Oh, no, we have no right to tell you to set your drinking age to 21. But if you don’t, no more highway funds.”
    I find it perverse and strange that the USA still has draft registration.

  • LaSargenta

    DON’T get me started on this topic.

    But, also, Roger, let’s not dignify this excresence of a movie with having this discussion under this review.

    Great FSM! MaryAnn went through enough already!!

    ;-)

    (Not that I know where we can have this discussion…)

  • Jaclynfarrell37

    Adam Sandler is the best! You guys are all taking this way to seriously! This isn’t a drama story, nor a movie about true events. Adam does comedy and does it well. I’m one of his biggest fans.

  • JACK WILLIAMS

    What a surprise that she doesn’t like it…she hates these type of movies…..unless there is some progressive message, or lesson involved she doesn’t like it…well guess what?  She wasn’t the target audience.  I’m 30, my wife 32, AND WE BOTH LOVED IT!   WE were laughing our heads off, nonstop!   EVEN MY WIFE UNDERSTOOD that nailing the teacher is every kid’s fantasy…I wish that had happened to me!   And the abuse scenes?  it’s not abuse, it’s Funny.  These films are bout letting go and laughing..we sure did……..and yes, my wife is a female, for the record (DUH)

  • JACK WILLIAMS

     dude, you’re overthinking..Have A Few Beers, Watch the movie, And laugh..thats it

  • JACK WILLIAMS

     agree with what u wrote, but the movie is good

  • JACK WILLIAMS

     chill out,…..i wish i nailed some of my teachers

  • JACK WILLIAMS

     if the female student consented, then who cares?  Theyre enjoying it

  • JACK WILLIAMS

     shoot,  if it happened to me when i Was Even 11, i wouldn’t have been dfamadged…I’d be really cool, and would have no problem with it…I wish thios happens to my 12 Year Old son..i guarantee i wont be suing anyone, LOL

  • Lady Tenar

    What was that sudden “whooooosh?” Oh right, it was the sound of the point flying over your head.

  • http://twitter.com/mcjwserenity Matt Clayton

    I meant his feature film debut as a leading role. I knew he had several minor roles in other movies, but as a debut leading role… he blew it with That’s My Boy.

    He should probably stick to SNL and voiceover roles until that lingering stench from this movie fades. It’ll probably be a while.

  • Dr. Rocketscience

    Actually, that would have been Hot Rod in 2007. Now, that movie pulled in less in its entire run than That’s My Boy did in its opening weekend. But Hot Rod did open in 2600 theaters. 

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Why do you bother to read my reviews? I mean, obviously, you’re not the intended audience, right?

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    It’s not just that Donny was a minor. It’s also that his father, with whom Donny was living, was clearly abusive to Donny. A baby being left in that situation is appalling.

    Oops, except: It’s “funny,” apparently.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Then your teachers would have been rapists.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Do you have any children?

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    You want your child to be raped? You think rape is a civil matter to be resolved by suing someone?

    Dear god…

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Why do you bother to read reviews?

  • Kat105

    I know that this is a late comment, but this is directed towards the people who made this abomination of a movie as well as the rape apologists in this comment section.

    A twelve-year-old boy cannot vote. He can’t drink alcohol. He can’t drive. He can’t work. He can’t pay rent. He’s nowhere near the age where he’s ready to go to college.

    And yet you think that it’s all fine and dandy for this twelve-year-old to have sex. With a grown woman who is old enough to be his mother. All of the above things that I mentioned are too much for a twelve-year-old to handle, but sex? Something that comes with risks and consequences that are far beyond the abilities of a child to handle, like STDs or pregnancies? Something that can be used to hurt others physically, emotionally, or psychologically? Something that even certain adults have problems with?

    Oh, no. None of those things matter, because all men everywhere want sex all the time, so that means that it doesn’t matter when or how they have it. It doesn’t matter how old they are because, hey, they’ve got a Y-chromosome! That means that the twelve-year-old boy must have wanted his hot teacher to rape him and so it’s not actually rape! Because giggling over naughty words and ogling naughty pictures is totally the same thing as being able to handle the actual naughty deed.

    Something tells me that if the teacher was a priest, not as many people would be laughing, no matter how good-looking the priest was. Whether it’s because the priest would be a man (which would make the boy “gay” and everyone knows that women are magically incapable of rape because
    they don’t have penises or something) or because it would bring up too many uncomfortable reminders of real-life events, I don’t know. But yes, the “hot” teacher raped him. She raped him. Rape is not funny. Period.

  • Miguel

    What did you think of the incest storyline?

  • Guest

    I just saw this movie for the first time and figured the critics would blast it for it’s lack of character/plot development, shoddiness of cinematography etc (SHOCKING for a slap-stick comedy, I know). This is, by far, the most ridiculous review of a movie I have ever seen. This would be like lambasting an episode of Barney for not being complex. Lady, it’s a funny story! Stop looking into whether or not this movie condones statutory rape (it clearly does not). The whole movie is meant to shock you. This movie is absolutely hysterical if you’re into slap-stick, grotesque humor. If you are too politically correct to get it, just say you don’t get it! You seem to be unable to find anything funny unless it is politically correct, so just accept that you have a narrow, boring sense of humor and move on with what I imagine is a quaint, politically correct, boring life.

  • dsfsdfsd

    you clearly have no sense of humour and i know any teenager would love to be him

  • :)

    Get fcked

  • Alexis Smith

    Okay, WTF people!! I know rape is wrong, obviously… and it should be treated just as badly, but this is a movie people! It’s not to make you think, “omg, what has happened to this boy, he must be so fucked up in the head,” no. It’s a f-ing Adam Sandler movie. His movies are meant to be funny, and if you don’t like comedies, which I am guessing because you are overthinking this damn movie, you shouldn’t be watching it. A comedy isn’t made based on its logic. It’s thier to show you its illogic and to make you laugh because of it. Stop being stupid pricks who have a rod shoved up your anus holes and see this movie for what it really is, a funny COMEDY! !

  • Alexis Smith

    Sorry if this post came out wrong but you can’t blame me for getting mad because this is a review website and you can’t distinguish a drama from a comedy :/

  • Alexis Smith

    Thank you! Somebody who knows where this movie is coming from

  • larrylloyd

    Nonsense. Every red-blooded teenage boy DREAMS of nailing a hot female teacher.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    Regardless of your fantasy, your teacher still would have been a rapist.

  • Anderson Co

    You keep using the word “rape” as if he was completely unable to consent. It’s a horny teenage boy, that is the opposite of “rape”, that was her doing him an amazing favor. You completely exaggerated & over-simplified this concept. You can’t seem to wrap your head around the psychological, biological & neurological differences between a man & a woman. Sexual dimorphism does not make a gender more or less “inferior”. Get over yourself.

  • RogerBW

    And that’s why there are laws against statutory rape. To guard against people like you.

  • Anderson Co

    You kept using the word “rape” as if he was completely unable to consent. It’s a horny teenage boy, that is the opposite of “rape”, that was her doing him an amazing favor. You completely exaggerated & over-simplified this concept. You can’t seem to wrap your head around the psychological, biological & neurological differences between a man & a woman. Sexual dimorphism does not make a gender more or less “inferior”. Get over yourself.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    No, it’s you who are unable to wrap your head around what consent means and what constitutes it. Children are not able to give consent. The law and simple humanity say this.

  • Anderson Co

    Using fallacious word play and subjective semantic games isn’t going to make your case any more appealing. And the way you say simple humanity says this and blah blah says that is an argument from authority fallacy as if you’re a sheep and cannot have a personal grasp of the concept using your own thoughts.

    You still can’t seem to wrap your head around the psychological, biological & neurological differences between a man & a woman. Sexual dimorphism does not make a gender more or less “inferior”. Get over yourself.

  • Anderson Co

    Nice Ad hominem fallacy. You cannot attack my argument so you attack the person by making jokes and accusations. Yes, real intelligent.

    Go suck a goat’s dick.

  • http://www.flickfilosopher.com/ MaryAnn Johanson

    We are not talking about “men” and “women” — i, adults — but children.

    Please do not post any further attempts to justify the rape of children. You will be deleted.

  • tomhayward

    You are one sick fuq. How many entries have you had on here proclaiming how hot it is?

    You and your wife are trailer park trash. By the way, I have some movies of me projectile vomiting, I will send you a copy and you and your s**t stain of a wife can have sex to it.

  • tomhayward

    Get over yourself and your pedophilia interests, you absolutely revolting piece of human fecal matter.

  • tomhayward

    How about Alexis, we enjoy a movie about kicking babies to death. It’ll be marketed as a comedy, but of course, plenty of gruesomeness to keep it edgy! I am sure there will be people like you that will think it’s hilarious. It’ll have fart noises on the sound track as the air is forced out of the infants as they’re stomped on. But because it’s a comedy, and the babies don’t really die, and it’s just a movie, neither myself, or anyone else will be allowed to comment on it, because it’s a “f-ing Sandler movie”.

    Jeez, you are just as warped–and stupid–as they come. I wouldn’t want to be in the same theater as you, in the same CITY as you, for worry that whatever slime oozes out from your assorted orifices may slither my way.

  • Nathan C.

    Wait what? Just to be clear, you are using biology to justify child rape? How is it different when it’s a woman preying on a male child? If a man raped a 12 year old boy society would call him a monster. Sex is not some casual handshake of an act, it is a deeply personal social exchange. Anyone who disagrees or thinks a child is equipped to deal with the associated risks of such an exchange is either a rapist or out of touch with reality. Just because you are desensitized to sexual violence doesn’t mean everyone else is.

    All that aside, please brush up on what constitutes sexual assault.

  • Nathan C.

    Check her review of 22 Jump Street, she just has higher standards than you. Sexual abuse isn’t funny in any context, to have such a double standard on child abuse is appalling to me. Sure, some kids might find their teacher attractive, but for their teacher to exploit these feelings? Sickening. What a horrible person to put a child in the position of caring for an infant. Boys may be capable of “enjoying” sex at that age, but that doesn’t mean they are ready for the social responsibilities involved. If the scenario were any different you’d be horrified, but you seem to be selectively blind here.

  • Nathan C.

    You’re right, all teachers should have sex with their students, as long as everyone is having fun it’s all fine and dandy. (MASS SARCASM)

  • Nathan C.

    She enjoyed 22 Jump Street, a movie with a noticeable lack of rape.