Quantcast
subscriber help

artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

Game of Thrones S04 E08: “The Mountain and the Viper” (you’re reading it wrong, Grandpa!)

gots04e08.1

(previous: “Mockingbird”)

No no no no no no. I hate you, George R.R. Martin. Hate. All this stupid senseless pointless death. It’s the wrong people dying! Oberyn? Why?? He’s Inigo Montoya, and the Mountain killed his sister and he was supposed to be preparing to die.

I suppose it’s too much to expect a miraculous rescue for Tyrion, eh?

gots04e08.2

Jesus, Grandpa. Why did you read me this book?

Dear god, but Ramsay Snow is a monster. Flaying men who’ve surrendered? And now he’s just gotten a promotion from bastard to heir of Warden of the North.

gots04e08.3

There will be no living with him now. Probably literally. There is scourge and death in those eyes. I’m thinking Dad may want to keep one eye open around his son.

Daenerys has kicked Jorah out. Well, he probably deserved that.

Sansa is starting to learn how to play the game, but even as she convincingly lies to save Baelish for being punished for Lysa’s death, she only ends up making him look more decent and noble than he could ever have managed on his own. And is she just not capable of being nasty? Cuz when he’s got this weaselly smirk on his face:

gots04e08.6

I really wanted to reaction shot to be her shooting him a “you owe me, you bastard” look. But no:

gots04e08.7

She just looks sad and scared. Is she too decent for this world? Will Baelish be one of the few left standing in the end?

Oh oh oh, and you know what other shitty thing is about to happen?

gots04e08.4

Arya and the Hound have come all this way to the Vale of Arryn, and Sansa is right inside, and they are going to turn around and walk away because Lysa is dead and so there’s no one for the Hound to ransom Ayra too. (I’m right, aren’t I? I haven’t read the books. No, don’t tell me.) And none of the guards hanging around outside can go, “Say, kid, your sister is right inside, come say hello,” because they don’t know actually know who the young lady guest with the red hair really is.

*aaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh*

I hate this show.

Little bits of sweetness among all the horror: How all of Sam’s buddies try to reassure him that Gilly and little Sam may have survived the Wilding attack on the village near Castle Black. And how Grey Worm of the Unsullied has a crush on Daenerys’s handmaiden Missandei.

gots04e08.5

Aww. He’s like a puppy. A neutered puppy, but he clearly is still able to be interested.

But we can guess that both of these things will turn out horrible in coming episodes.

(next: “The Watchers on the Wall”)


posted in:
tv buzz
  • jpstacy2001

    Pity Oberyn forgot the #2 rule of Zombieland. The Double Tap to make sure they stay down for good. Too bad as he was a great character in both the books and the show.

  • David_Conner

    I have to figure the mention of the name “Arya Stark” at least gets kicked up the Eyrie chain of command a little. Or that someone would recognize the Hound. But maybe not. They certainly seem to be setting up another “missed connection.”

  • Allen W

    “You’ve been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that’s about the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” – Count Rugen

    “Challenge accepted!” George R.R. Martin

    “What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?”” – Both of them.

  • GeeksAreMyPeeps

    Next week is episode 9, right? Bad things tend to happen in episode 9…

  • Beowulf

    Ha. This is why I watched about three episodes of season one and said, “G.R.R.M. is a sick puppy and every time I watch an episode I’m going to feel like I slept with an unwashed, toothless, crack whore.” Fargo is sick enough and it’ll be over in ten episodes (and it’s funny…is this show funny?)

  • Stop it.

  • Damian Barajas

    When Ned stark got killed off, i was shocked, anybody can die! (TVtropes link withheld), when the red wedding happened, I was genuinely shocked, I did not see that coming, but it made for a great story, it shows what the Lannisters are capable of doing and really keeps the plot fresh, but now, I’m getting the feeling that to get the iron throne, all you have to do is be the last person standing, rooting for any one character is fundamentally futile, since the more you like them, the more likely it is that they will not be able to survive this world.
    Yeah, I get it, that’s been George’s point all along. but If Tyrion dies here, I’ll seriously consider dropping the show.

  • Dr. Rocketscience

    I had a minor epiphany about GoT recently. Well, at first I thought “epiphany” must be overstating it, as everyone must have figured this out about it. But I’ve since realized that no one seems to talk about the show in these terms, so maybe it’s just me?

    Anyway, here it is: “A Song of Ice and Fire” isn’t a story. It’s a history that borrows some of the structure and conventions of a traditional narrative. And those are not the same thing.

    Ask yourself – especially now post-Red Wedding – who’s story is this? Who is experiencing an identifiable character arc of growth and change? An argument could be made for Arya and Tyrion, but would you really consider either of the the protagonists? I wouldn’t. Especially Arya, who’s the most different from who she was at the beginning.

    This show (and these books) doesn’t have protagonists. It has “major figures”, people whose actions and life events are key the developments around them. This isn’t the tale of Tyrion or Arya or Jon Snow or Dany. It’s the story of Westeros. And it is the story of a particular moment in Westeros: the end of a long summer, the War of Five Kings, and the coming attack from the far North by the Other (I think the 3rd or 4th of those).

  • Allen W

    It’s not just you, though I haven’t often seen that viewpoint expressed in discussions about the show (as opposed to about the books).
    Another, similar way of looking at it: It’s literally “a song (story) of Ice and Fire,” which in the context of the show/books may not just be abstract concepts, but actual warring forces that act through the various characters.

  • MC

    I have a feeling Count Rugen would look at the work of Ramsey Snow, throw his hands to the air and say he can’t compete with that.

  • Dr. Rocketscience

    Well, certainly no points could be awarded for surmising that “Ice” refers to the Others, and “Fire” to the dragons.

  • Allen W

    The dragons are certainly on the flamey side, but for an actual personification of Fire, there’s the Red God (R’hllor). According to his priests (show and book), he has an opposite, as yet unnamed.
    From this point of view, oddly enough, the Others and the Starks may belong to the same “side” (Ice, which was also the name of Ned Stark’s sword), opposed to the dragons and the Targaryens.
    My wife likes to joke that the answer has been in the opening credits all along: In the end, the sun will go supernova, killing everything. I suppose that would be a victory for Fire in the short term, but Ice in the long term.
    I also have a suspicion that the whole Fire/Ice dynamic may not be a battle so much as a courtship.

  • Allen W

    And Count Rugen can throw his hands in the air 10% more than most people can.

  • Bluejay

    Parts of it actually ARE quite funny.

  • Bluejay

    Daenerys has kicked Jorah out. Well, he probably deserved that.

    That’s Tywin driving a wedge between them. Dany will pay for that somehow. Tywin wins again.

    Maybe I should just root for Tywin Lannister from here on out, and spare myself some heartache.

  • Dr. Rocketscience

    Yes! Do that!

  • Danielm80

    Whenever George R.R. Martin talks to a cast member, he says, “Good night. I’ll probably kill you in the morning.”

    But every once in a while, he tells them, “You’re only mostly dead.”

Pin It on Pinterest