So, there was this coronal mass ejection from the sun and this means aliens apparently and then something Not Human crashes in the woods and chases a couple of guys around like it’s not a superadvanced being from another world but a cliché from a horror movie, and we know this is All True because some UFO nut (Adam Seybold) caught it on camera. Well. He caught some shaking around of the camera in the dark nighttime woods on camera. And some screamy screeching in the distance that is clearly totally alien. (“Found footage” — which constitutes only part of this film — is now officially a dodge, to avoid having to actually tell a coherent story, masquerading as a storytelling style.) Blah blah blah missing time. Something something animal mutilations. Oh! And there’s also a terrible evil scientist lady (Lisa Houle: Pontypool) who is very histrionic and has her own secret government facility where she can interrogate a poor hapless alien abductee (Julian Richings: Man of Steel). She’s like Cigarette Smoking Man except kind of dumb, because her first move right out of the torture gate is to use an alien device that sucks the brains right outta ya, which is guaranteed to be even less helpful in an interrogation than waterboarding, probably. She is all about demanding evidence of the existence of aliens even though she obviously has a torture armory full of evidence (the brain-sucking thing is not her only toy). Maybe Ejecta meant to be cautionary tale about how becoming the evil toady of a shady government agency makes you really stupid in the long run? Or maybe Ejecta is itself an alien torture device designed to turn our brains to mush. *sob*
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