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rare female film critic | by maryann johanson

daily list: what 10 celebs did before they were famous

Newsflash! Apparently some guy called David Hernandez who’s appearing on the modern Gong Show known as American Idol has been revealed to have been a stripper! Shocking! Unbelievable! Because there’s nothing at all exhibitionist about American Idol. Who’da thunk that someone willing to put himself through such ritual humiliation in front of millions of total strangers might have once taken his clothes off in public?

Are we all so naive that we can’t imagine that people who will do anything to be stars will, you know, do anything for attention? Perhaps we are. But I’m gonna burst your bubble. Here’s a list of major stars — people you know and love and revere and adolize — and the less-than-dignified things they once did in the name of making a name for themselves:
1. James Stewart: jumped out of birthday cakes for Wall Street tycoons in the 1920s

2. Madonna: fetched coffee and cocaine for Donna Summer on her 1976 “Disco or Die” tour

3. Tom Hanks: wore a giant corncob costume and waved to drivers on Sunset Boulevard for two weeks in the summer of 1972 to advertise fast-food joint Kernel Shack

4. Elizabeth Taylor: hand-modeled experimental “Atomic Nail Polish” in a 1953 TV commercial

5. George Clooney: wore be-nippled rubber batsuit in Batman and Robin

6. Donald Trump: invented the combover

7. Tom Cruise: traveled back in time to surreptitiously suggest to L. Ron Hubbard that Hubbard invent a crazy-ass science fiction religion Cruise could later publicly promote

8. Britney Spears: sang, gyrated

9. Matt Drudge: opened mouth, spoke, blogged

10. Olsen Twins: were born

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