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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

dream cast: hypothetical ‘Princess Bride’ remake

It’s Thursday, so it’s time to remake an 80s classic TV show or movie with an all-new cast. This week: The Princess Bride, the 1987 fantasy spoof that’s one of the most quotable flicks of the decade.

(This week’s topic was suggested by my brother Ken, who figured it was the ideal movie for me to play with. If you have a suggestion for an 80s TV show or movie we should recast, feel free to email me.)
The original cast featured:

Westley/Dread Pirate Roberts: Cary Elwes
Buttercup/The Princess Bride: Robin Wright
Prince Humperdinck: Chris Sarandon
Count Rugen: Christopher Guest
Vizzini: Wallace Shawn
Inigo Montoya: Mandy Patinkin
Fezzik: Andre the Giant
The Grandson: Fred Savage
The Grandfather/Narrator: Peter Falk
The Impressive Clergyman: Peter Cook
The Albino: Mel Smith
Miracle Max: Billy Crystal
Valerie: Carol Kane

I don’t have suggestions for everyone, but here are a few of my picks for a new cast:

Buttercup/The Princess Bride: Scarlett Johansson
Count Rugen: Daniel Craig
Fezzik: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
The Albino: Eddie Izzard

Who would you cast?

And the battle of wits has begun!

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