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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

watch it: “Nailing Your Wife”

Well, I say “watch it” advisedly. I’m gonna rip into it after the jump. (Yeah, I said it was gonna be all politics this week, but this one made me too mad):

Spike calls this “PG Porn,” and there’s absolutely no way in hell anyone can complain about it without tripwiring all the standard rejoinders. It’s a joke! It’s comedy! It’s supposed to be funny! It’s satire! It’s just a movie! Geez, you feminists just need to get nailed yourselves!

In case you didn’t actually watch the damn thing, the “punchline” is that instead of actually inserting his penis into her vagina in a barely veiled metaphor for the denigration of women that pretends to be all about sexy fun and is instead all about male dominance and aggression and the denial of female pleasure in favor of that of the male, the horny construction worker in the little movie shoots the sexed-up lonely housewife in the head with a nail gun. See, it’s a pun: he nailed her! The punchline is an actual punch. A fatal one.

But it’s only satire. It’s hilarious. It shows up we feminists as total fools, that’s what it does. Who in their right mind could object to this? Why, it’s downright subversive, is what it is.

Then why is my tender little fangirl heart sobbing, Why, Nathan Fillion, why?

(discovered at Mental Floss, which hates it, too)



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