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part of a small rebellion | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘Bride Wars’

Take a break from not working this wasted holiday week: watch a movie trailer…

Just a tip from this gal to the two gals (and one guy) who wrote this screenplay: Women who treat each other like this are not “best friends.” Calling them “frenemies” doesn’t help, because that’s one of the most despicable concepts a word has ever been coined to encompass. We should all be ashamed of ourselves.

And a question for the male director and the one male screenwriter: Why would any man want to be married to a woman who acts like either of these two? If she’s gonna treat her “best friend” like this over a damn party, what is she gonna do to you for, you know, the rest of your life?

Bride Wars opens wide in the U.S. and in the U.K. on January 9, 2009.

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movie buzz | trailers

  • Newbia

    Is it bad that the first thing I thought of when I saw the trailer in the theater was, “Oh my God, this movie looks horrible…I can’t wait till I read MaryAnn’s review.” I hope that at least you have fun writing a bad review once you have survived the movie.

  • I hope you don’t have to suffer through this one, MaryAnn — why would any self-respecting woman be in a movie this obviously misogynist? The trailer looks like something a 13-year-old boy would write about his older sister.

  • Yeah, when I heard about the movie and its casting, it sounded like it could be fun. But the trailer convinces me otherwise. I’m at the point I’ll take a walk the next time the trailer shows up before a movie I’ve gone to see.

  • MaryAnn

    Oh, I’m gonna see this. It’s gonna be fun to rip apart.

  • amanohyo

    I think we all know how this will go down:

    First twenty minutes: Open with scene of two young girls talking to each other about their future weddings. Flash forward and introduce characters as independent, modern women who have totally been like best friends since forever even though they have opposing personalities. Follow with dual proposals using parallel shots. Comic sidekick cracks a few one-liners to let audience know that he/she is gay and/or “eccentric”.

    Next hour: PG backstabbing shenanigans involving the stuff that two generic “girls” stereotypically care about: make-up, clothes, food, bling, weight, bust/hip size. Obligatory awkward family dinner. Possible PMS and/or birth control “jokes.” Comic sidekick and fiances try to negotiate a ceasefire and fail. Shouting match ends when one of the characters “goes too far” in public and says something that’s supposed to make women in the audience say “I cannot believe she just said that!”

    Next ten minutes: Build up to first wedding, cat fight in front of shocked guests followed by teary denouement and “somehow we forgot what really matters is…” speech, follow with series of sappy childhood flashbacks for maximum effect. Fade to white.

    Final five minutes: Characters magically return to being BFF, obligatory double wedding followed by obligatory wedding dance to the hit single from the soundtrack. Gay and/or “eccentric” sidekick finds true love of his/her own at wedding. Freeze on the happy faces of two leads and fade to credits.

    Optional: Leave door open for sequel by showing the two baby daughters of the leads after credit roll (possibly fighting over a toy). Everyone leaves the theater with a smile!

    My only hope is that June Diane Raphael is actually talented and can miraculously inject some originality into this and maybe even pull the writing of those other two hacks up to a passable level. I’m not brave enough to watch this to find out though. Good luck soldier.

  • amanohyo

    Maybe I’m just sleep deprived, but I think it would be cool if someone (besides the Not Another… guys) made a movie that poked fun at the conventions of wedding romcoms… I don’t know who though. It doesn’t seem like the appropriate territory for Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright (although it’s fun imagining the possibilities). The only wedding comedy I’ve ever enjoyed was Black Cat, White Cat (well… and The Graduate if that even counts). The genre seems ripe for satire.

  • MaryAnn

    Optional: Leave door open for sequel by showing the two baby daughters of the leads after credit roll

    *Baby Shower Wars*!

    God help us.

  • MBI

    Fun fact: When I first saw this trailer for a wedding-themed movie starring Anne Hathaway, I thought it must be that “Rachel Getting Married” movie I’d heard so much about!

    I didn’t get what all the fuss was about.

  • deering

    The first time I saw this trailer, I couldn’t wait to hear what kind of rationalizations certain types of women would drag up to justify seeing this. Sure as fate, someone over on Rotten Tomatoes perkily observed that not every movie could break the “mould” (so shame on you critics for wanting originality, or at least non-misogynistic rom-coms) that she was getting married soon; and couldn’t wait to go with her bridesmaids for some laffs and fun. A college ex-friend of mine noted that she wanted to see this because shallow women duking it out with women is her idea of fun. Charming.

  • Paul

    Oh, Newbia, you hit that on the nose. Sometimes when I have a bad day I purposely look for Mary’s stoplight reviews just so I can laugh. Other times I feel guilty about it; as a budding artist, I know how I’d feel if my book was being trashed on line.

  • greg depaul

    Well, blogger, since you directed your question at the “male screenwriter,” do you want an answer?

    I’m Greg DePaul, the male screenwriter behind Bride Wars. And lemme tell ya, there were a whole lotta women involved in this project, so you might want to open your eyes and read ALL the credits — female producers, female co-writers, female executives at New Regency …

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but a whole lot of women contributed to this movie, which I’m proud of. And a whole lot more are going to go. Stay at home and cry if you like. Or try your hand at screenwriting and see what happens.

    — Greg DePaul

  • Diane

    I notice “Greg DePaul” didn’t answer MaryAnn’s question(s).

  • amanohyo

    I also notice that “Greg DePaul” cowrote the screenplay for Saving Silverman, one of the most braindead, juvenille, and blatantly gynophobic movies of the decade. Well done.

  • deering

    Gee, Greg, do you mind explaining exactly what you thought was funny about this material? While you’re at it, please clarify why should anyone care about two selfish bints who care more about a frickin’ wedding than they do about each other–not to mention their grooms? Would you really be proud if a daughter of yours or a sister or your mother went to see a flick that essentially treats its female characters like trivial, crazy shrews? Is that what you want to tell them and other women–that it’s so funny that that is all women (the screwy little dears) can center their lives around? I would say shame on you, but it’s clear that you don’t have enough shame to be embarassed–much less do better work.

  • MaryAnn

    I bet “Greg DePaul” ain’t Greg DePaul at all, just a troll who thinks he’s being clever. Well, actually, if he is Greg DePaul, he’s still being a troll, isn’t he? Kinda like the movie itself: Just begging you to engage it. No pun intended.

  • deering

    Heh, MaryAnn. :) I’d rather see two hours of the BW screenwriters explaining to irate audiences what the hell they were thinking and why they hate women so much. Now _that_ would be movie. :)

    Relatedly, I always love it when criticism-stung Hollywood folks jump up in blogs like this and think that “Well, write your own script if you think you can do better than me” is a real crusher of a retort. And it’s not like said folks are all that talented at writing. What they _really_ mean is that “Ha, ha–I got my stuff sold and you didn’t, because being a real scriptwriter is all about selling scripts, not writing good ones.” Which is why they continue to miss the point–and make bad flicks.

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