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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

dream cast: hypothetical ‘Mork & Mindy’ movie

Shazbot, I’m late this week. But it’s still Thursday, so there’s still time to remake an 80s classic TV show or movie with an all-new cast. This week: Mork & Mindy, the 1978-82 ABC sitcom about the doofiest alien in the universe and the human girl who lets him sleep on her sofa.

(If you have a suggestion for an 80s TV show or movie we should play with, feel free to email me.)
The original cast included:

Mork: Robin Williams
Mindy: Pam Dawber
Orson (voice): Ralph James
Fred (Mindy’s dad): Conrad Janis
Eugene (the kid who hung around the record store): Jeffrey Jacquet
Mr. Bickley (the pain-in-the-ass neighbor): Tom Poston
the baby: Jonathan Winters
Exidor (who was either mentally ill or a visionary prophet, or perhaps both): Robert Donner

Mindy’s father was always pissed off that his innocent and virginal little princess was living with a man, which is so dated that it’s laughable, so we can excise that subplot… and perhaps even the character of the Dad himself. Also: *snort* record store. *sigh*

My dream cast, and I’m gender-switching a few of the roles because there are so many funny women who don’t get a break, and who would be great in this:

Mork: Missi Pyle
Manny: John Leguizamo
Orson: Keith Olbermann (it is just a voice, after all)
the baby: Terence Stamp
Exidor: Kristen Chenoweth

Na-Nu Na-Nu:

God, remember when shows had credit sequences that went on for, like, 45 minutes? Amazing.



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