totally quotable! 2008

Here are the most quotable movie lines of the year 2008.

I didn’t mean to hold these till the movie year was over — it just sort of happened that way. I’ll return to posting quotes as I hear them for 2009.

No ranking — quotes are posted in reverse order of movie release dates, with newer films at the top. [Warning: May contain spoilers.]
“I’m laughing my ass off.”
–Arnie Klein (Alan Arkin), not laughing at all, Marley & Me

“I love him but I don’t trust him.”
–John (Owen Wilson), about Marley the dog, Marley & Me

“There’s so many wonderful things in life to be afraid of, as soon as you learn how scary they are.”
–schoolmaster (Richard Jenkins), The Tale of Despereaux

“You’re a strange little mouse.”
–Princess Pea (Emma Watson)
“Thank you.”
–Despereaux (Matthew Broderick)
The Tale of Despereaux

“We’re all hurtling toward death.”
–Caden Cotard (Philip Seymour Hoffman), Synecdoche, New York

“Pray to your own personal god that this piece of junk flies.”
–Skipper (Tom McGrath), Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

“Hurry up before we all come to our senses!”
–Julie (Sacha Baron Cohen), before the sacrifice to the gods, Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

“There’s no way I’ll ever be out-Christianed or out-Texaned again.”
–George W. Bush (Josh Brolin), W.

“There is no exit — we stay.”
–Dick Cheney (Richard Dreyfuss), on the invasion of Iraq, W.

“Death tends to give war a depressing image.”
–???, W.

“Send the bees love. Every little thing wants to be loved.”
–August Boatwright (Queen Latifah), The Secret Life of Bees

“I don’t really subscribe to any label.”
–Nick (Michael Cera), Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist

“I refuse to be a goodie bag at your pity party.”
–Norah (Kat Dennings), Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist

“Our enemies have realized that they’re fighting guys from the future.”
–Ed Hoffman (Russell Crowe), Body of Lies

“Nobody is innocent in this shit.”
–Ed Hoffman(Russell Crowe), Body of Lies

“The Duke is the only man in England not in love with his wife.”
–Charles Fox (Simon McBurney), The Duchess

“Hope is a demon bitch.”
–Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan), Hamlet 2

“My life is a parody of a tragedy.”
–Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan), Hamlet 2

“Art is happening!”
–Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan)
“So stop it!”
Hamlet 2

“He’s turning every shade of green except the one he’s supposed to be.”
–Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein), on Jabba’s son, Star Wars: The Clone Wars

“Man, I don’t drop character till I’ve done the DVD commentary.”
–Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.), Tropic Thunder

“I don’t read the script — the script reads me.”
–Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.), Tropic Thunder

“Any asshole can tell a merlot from a zinfindel.”
–guy in bar, Bottle Shock

“I’m not a heathen, I’m a sinner.”
–Sebastian (Ben Whishaw), Brideshead Revisited

“Don’t be vulgar. Vulgar is not the same as funny.”
–Lady Marchmain (Emma Thompson), Brideshead Revisited

“I believe that whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you stranger.”
–The Joker (Heath Ledger), The Dark Knight

“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
–The Joker (Heath Ledger), The Dark Knight

“Madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.”
–The Joker (Heath Ledger), The Dark Knight

“You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
–Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), The Dark Knight

“Haven’t you ever seen a dinosaur before?”
–Sean (Josh Hutcherson)
“Not with skin on it.”
–Trevor (Brendan Fraser)
Journey to the Center of the Earth

“You’re in love. Have a beer”
–Red (Ron Perlman), to Abe, Hellboy II: The Golden Army

“My body is a temple.”
–Abe (Doug Jones)
“No, your body is an amusement park.”
–Red (Ron Perlman)
Hellboy II: The Golden Army

“Space is the final fun-tier!”
–Shelby Forthright (Fred Willard), Wall-E

“Ray is the Bono of PR.”
–some guy
“Actually, I think Bono is the Bono of PR.”
–Ray (Jason Bateman)

“This is a whole new level of weird.”
–Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), The Incredible Hulk

“[in Portuguese:] Don’t make me hungry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry. [in English:] No, that’s not right.”
–Bruce Banner (Edward Norton), The Incredible Hulk

“We are noodle folk. Broth runs through out veins.”
–Mr. Ping (James Hong), Kung Fu Panda

“One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.”
–Oogway (Randall Duk Kim), Kung Fu Panda

“I know you’re trying to be all mystical and kung fu-y, but could you at least tell me where we’re going?”
–Po (Jack Black), Kung Fu Panda

“We can’t kill him now. We just bandaged his head.”
–Trufflehunter (Ken Stott), The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

“Gimme a scotch, I’m starving.”
–Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), Iron Man

“The Jade Warlord sent a bounty hunter.”
–Golden Sparrow (Yifei Liu)
“We are doomed.”
–Lu Yan (Jackie Chan)
The Forbidden Kingdom

“With all due respect, sir, fuck the President.”
–Brandon (Ryan Phillippe), Stop-Loss

“You left her at the altar when she was pregnant!”
–Gordon (Dylan Moran)
“But that was ages ago!”
–Dennis (Simon Pegg)
“Women remember that stuff.”
–Gordon (Dylan Moran)
Run, Fat Boy, Run

“I have news for you, Dennis Doyle from downstairs: it’s all your fault!”
–Mr. Ghoshdashtidar (Harish Patel), Run, Fat Boy, Run

“You want to feel my spatula?”
–Mr. Ghoshdashtidar (Harish Patel), Run, Fat Boy, Run

“You can’t sell horse tranquilizers to a midget!”
–Ray (Colin Farrell), In Bruges

“I will not be lectured by the porn king of Soho.”
–Michael X (Peter De Jersey), The Bank Job

“My family has a psychiatrist on call. How normal can I be?”
–Charlie Bartlett (Anton Yelchin), Charlie Bartlett

“Bringing psychiatric drugs and teenagers together is like opening a lemonade stand in the desert.”
–Charlie Bartlett (Anton Yelchin), Charlie Bartlett

“Never never attack a drunk guy with a gun.”
–Nathan Gardner (Robert Downey Jr.), Charlie Bartlett

“Maybe there’s more to high school than being well liked.”
–Mom (Hope Davis)
“Like what, specifically?”
–Charlie Bartlett (Anton Yelchin)
Charlie Bartlett

“Vengeance or death! Hopefully vengeance.”
–Hogsqueal (Seth Rogen), The Spiderwick Chronicles

“Good thing we’re New Yorkers.”
–Mom (Mary Louise Parker), The Spiderwick Chronicles

“I hate cleaning toilets but the money is so good.”
–Bridget (Diane Keaton), Mad Money

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Tue, Jan 20, 2009 7:27am

Can I add my personal favourite?

Julien from Madagascar 2 trying to prevent Mort from getting on the plane: “Stop him, he’s carrying scissors and some hand cream!”

Tue, Jan 20, 2009 8:26am

Danny: Can I get a large black coffe.

Clerk: A what?

Danny: Large Black coffee.

Clerk You mean a Venti?

Danny: No I mean large

Clerk: Venti is large

Danny: No Venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact tall is large and grande is Spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesnt mean large. It’s also the only one that’s Italian. Congraulations you’re stupid in three languages.

Clerk: A venti is a large coffee

Danny: Really? Says who? Fellini? Do you accept lira or is it all euros now?

– Danny (Paul Rudd) Role Models

Tue, Jan 20, 2009 8:28am

From the Nick and Norah movie:

Norah: There’s this part of Judaism that I like, Tikkun Olam. It said that the world is broken into pieces and everyone has to find them and put them back together.

Nick: Maybe we don’t have to find it. Maybe we are the pieces.

And from the Dark Knight movie:

Joker: You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics when things go “according to plan.” Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it’s all “part of the plan.” But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!

Rick B.
Rick B.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 1:49pm

Two more from “Kung Fu Panda”:

Dream Sequence Bad Guy: “I see you like to chew. Maybe you should chew……ONMYFIST!”

Dream Sequence Bad Guys: “He’s too awesome!”
Dream Sequence Villager: “And attractive!”
Dream Sequence Villager 2: “How can we repay you?”
Po: “There is no charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness.”

Wed, Jan 21, 2009 11:09am

Clerk: A venti is a large coffee

You left out the part where it is explained that a venti is called a venti because it’s 20 ounces of coffee. Which negates Rudd’s rant.

Tonio Kruger
Wed, Jan 21, 2009 12:18pm

“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
–The Joker (Heath Ledger), The Dark Knight

That sounds familiar. Maybe I should write that down…

Thu, Jan 22, 2009 1:00am

Man, how is there only one quote from In Bruges on here? Collin Farrell gets so many awesome lines. How about:

“I hope your midget doesn’t kill himself. Your dream sequence will be fucked.”
“He doesn’t like being called a midget. He prefers dwarf.”
“This is exactly my point! People going around calling you a midget when you want to be called a dwarf. Of course you’re going to blow your head off.”


“My date involved two instances of extreme violence, one instance of her hand on my cock and my finger up her thing, which lasted all to briefly–Isn’t that always the way?–one instance of me stealing five grams of very-high-quality cocaine, and one instance of me blinding a poofy little skinhead. So, all-in-all my evening pretty much balanced out fine.”

And of course, the final line:

Ray: “Fuck man, maybe that’s what ‘ell is: the entire rest of eternity spent in fuckin’ Bruges.”

Thu, Jan 22, 2009 9:47am

My favorire from The Dark Knight is this one:

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Thu, Jan 22, 2009 9:52am

Joey – No doubt. “In Bruges” is full of great lines. If we were doing a “Best Scenes of ’08”, the restaurant scene with Ray, the drug-dealing date, and the Canadians has gotta be near the top.

Thu, Jan 22, 2009 3:54pm

“Joker: You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics when things go ‘according to plan.’ Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it’s all ‘part of the plan.’ But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!”

I hope that’s the Oscar clip. That’s really one of the most soul-scarring lines I’ve ever heard. It perfectly sums up our society- how we can shrug our shoulders at all the people dying every day, yet the fear of “terrorism” causes us to give up on everything we’re supposed to believe in. How we were more than willing to give our lives over to faceless corporations who would fuck us over seven ways from Sunday- at least that makes sense. Just don’t ask us to deal with the uncertainty and madness of suicide planes. It’s terrifying how deftly a psycho in clown makeup got to the heart of our entire national consciousness.

Another great Dark Knight quote (I should probably pick that up- I haven’t seen it since the theater) was the conversation between Bruce and Alfred at the end, which served as a perfect coda to the movie (forgive errors- I’m quoting from memory):

Bruce: The bandit in Burma, did you catch him?
Alfred: Yes.
Bruce: How?
Alfred: We burned the forest down.