opening in the U.K. May 20-22: ‘Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian,’ ‘A Girl Cut in Two,’ ‘Tormented,’ more

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian: Know what my favorite bit of inexcusably implausible nonsense here is? I adore how the floorplan for the high-security “federal archives” that supposedly exist (they don’t) under the Smithsonian on the Mall in Washington is readily accessed by a child on the Internet. That’s homeland security we can believe in.

A Girl Cut in Two: It’s yet another one of those old man-young girl “romances.” But it’s French — the original title is La fille coupée en deux — so I guess that’s supposed to make it okay.
Tormented: A teenage suicide returns as a zombie to hassle the kids who used to hassle him. This homegrown U.K. horror flick features multiple cast members from the hit series Skins, which is sort of like making a splatter movie with a bunch of actors from The O.C. [official site]

Slepé lásky (Blind Loves): It’s half fiction, half documentary, a story about blind people and the people they love, and it was Slovakia’s official submission to the Foreign-Language Film category at the most recent Academy Awards. [official site]

Awaydays: Based on the cult novel of the same name by Kevin Samson about how bored young men diverted themselves during the early reign of Margaret Thatcher. It’s pretty much what you’d imagine: alcohol, football, and sex. Features lots of Joy Division music, apparently. [official site]

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