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film criticism by maryann johanson | since 1997

dream cast: Peter Jackson’s ‘The Hobbit’ (to give him a boot in the ass)

It’s Thursday, so it’s time for another installment in the semiregular Dream Cast, in which we take a classic movie, TV show, or — NEW! — book, perferrably something with Xer appeal that we can either trash or have fun with, and cast a production or recast a hypothetical (or sometimes not so hypothetical) remake with actors working today. This week: The Hobbit, the Peter Jackson-produced, Guillermo del Toro-directed prequel to Jackson’s Lord of the Rings film series, which we just learned yesterday doesn’t actually have a finished script yet, and hasn’t actually been greenlit!

(If you have a suggestion for show, movie, or book we could play Dream Cast with, feel free to email me.)
Oh, it’s true, as MTV Movie News reported yesterday:

‘The Hobbit’ Not Yet Green-Lit, Peter Jackson Says

‘Unless we can write a script that the studio likes and present a budget that they like, there won’t be any ‘Hobbit’ film being made,’ producer says.

And so there cannot yet be a casting decision made on the role of Bilbo Baggins, of course:

“You never go offering a role to an actor until you have a script that they can read, and you also need a schedule so you can tell what dates you need them to work,” said Jackson…

Also, at Comic Con, David Tennant completely denied he knew anything at all about his playing Bilbo Baggins in any movie:

“The Internet is a curious place, isn’t it?” Tennant told MTV News.

“I think someone sits in their bedroom in Saskatchewan and comes up with an idea and they post it. And within minutes it’s around the world and I’m getting phoned up by journalists and friends of mine saying, ‘When are you off to shoot with Guillermo [del Toro]?'” said Tennant. “It’s not something I know anything about.”

“No one’s talked with me,” he added.

While Tennant’s no stranger to special effects, he doubted even the most impressive computer’s ability to bring him down to Hobbit size.

“I’m a bit tall, aren’t I?” he joked. “I know they do things with CGI now, but I’m 6’1″. Hobbits are little. I do have quite hairy toes, though.”

(There’s video! Not of naked toes, however.)

So it falls to us to, finally, cast the damn movie and get it moving.

Here’s my dream cast:

Bilbo Baggins: Michael Sheen
Gandalf: Ian McKellen
Thorin Oakenshield: Peter Sarsgaard
Smaug: Alan Rickman
Elrond: Hugo Weaving
Gollum: Andy Serkis
Beorn: Clancy Brown
Bard the Bowman: Gerard Butler

(I wish there were some roles for women…)

Who’s in your dream cast?

Concerning hobbits:

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