trailer break: ‘Orphan’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer…

Well, Vera, obviously there is something wrong with being different.

We’ll never guess her secret? Oh, pul-leeze. She’s Satan’s slave. She’s Carrie’s clone. No, wait, she’s Damien’s child! And she killed Damien, and that’s why she’s an orphan!

No? Not scary anymore? We need something more modern to terrify us?

How about: Her little body is inhabited by the spirit of an evil hedge-fund manager who wants to ruin the credit rating of her adoptive parents. She’s the reincarnation of an oil-company executive who returns to Earth to ensure we drill in Alaska. No, wait! She’s the love child of Michael Bay and whoever wrote that line in the trailer — “It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own” — and is simultaneously compelled to make things blow up and offend people.

The Orphan opens in the U.S. on July 24 and the U.K. on August 7.

Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap