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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

totally quotable! 2009

Here are the most quotable movie lines of the year 2009. No ranking — newer quotes are posted at the top. [Warning: May contain spoilers.]
“I’m craving a burger. Is that strange?”
–Sergeant Matt Thompson (Guy Pearce), as he puts on his bomb suit, The Hurt Locker

“If he wasn’t an insurgent, he sure the hell is now.”
–Sergeant William James (Jeremy Renner), about a local roughed up by the U.S. military, The Hurt Locker

“You can shoot people here — you don’t have to throw a wrench.”
–Sergeant JT Sanborn (Anthony Mackie), to a British mercenary, The Hurt Locker

“You have the great gift of silence, Watson. It makes you invaluable as a companion.”
–Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.), Sherlock Holmes

“You are terrified of a life without the thrill of the macabre.”
–Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) to Watson, Sherlock Holmes

“They can fix spinal if you’ve got the money — but not on VA benefits, not in this economy.”
–Jake (Sam Worthington), Avatar

“You the man, Doc.”
–military contractor to Dr. Grace Augustine, Avatar

“It takes time in the morning for me to become George.”
–George (Colin Firth), A Single Man

“I didn’t know Ohio actually existed.”
–Richard (Zac Efron), Me and Orson Welles

“The principal occupation of the Mercury Theater is waiting for Orson.”
–company member, Me and Orson Welles

“People in 1937 will not pay $2 to see tragedy.”
–George (Ben Chaplin), Me and Orson Welles

“It’s crazy, isn’t it? Times like these, and people go right on doing what they’ve always been doing.”
–Sonja (Claire Danes), Me and Orson Welles

“I don’t want to live in a hole — it makes me feel poor.”
–Mr. Fox (George Clooney), Fantastic Mr. Fox

“What the cuss?”
–Mr. Fox (George Clooney), Fantastic Mr. Fox

“Why the cuss didn’t I listen to my lawyer?”
–Mr. Fox (George Clooney), Fantastic Mr. Fox

“I’m a wild animal.”
–Mr. Fox (George Clooney), Fantastic Mr. Fox

“I enjoyed it, but I shouldn’t have done it.”
–Mr. Fox (George Clooney), Fantastic Mr. Fox

“Am I being flirted with by a psychotic rat?”
–Mrs. Fox (Meryl Streep), Fantastic Mr. Fox

“My suicide mission has been cancelled. It has been replaced by a go-for-broke rescue mission.”
–Mr. Fox (George Clooney), Fantastic Mr. Fox

“If what I think is happening here is happening here, it better not be.”
–Mrs. Fox (Meryl Streep), Fantastic Mr. Fox

“They talk like TV channels I don’t watch.”
–Precious (Gabourey Sidibe), about the teacher and her partner who are so kind to her, Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

“Every day I tell myself something gonna happen.”
–Precious (Gabourey Sidibe), Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

“Love ain’t done nothin’ for me.”
–Precious (Gabourey Sidibe), Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

“What is a Jedi warrior?”
–Bob (Ewan McGregor), The Men Who Stare at Goats

“I was on a mission even if I didn’t know what the mission was.”
–Bob (Ewan McGregor), The Men Who Stare at Goats

“Weird little thing, I like the way you destroy stuff.”
–Carol (James Gandolfini), Where the Wild Things Are

“I hope you don’t taste as selfish as you look.”
–monster, Where the Wild Things Are

“I have powers from another land, from an ancient time. Don’t make me show you.”
–Max (Max Records), Where the Wild Things Are

“Sorry we were gonna eat you — we didn’t know you were king.”
–monster, Where the Wild Things Are

“Happiness isn’t always the best way to be happy.”
–monster, Where the Wild Things Are

“Let the wild rumpus start!”
–Max (Max Records), Where the Wild Things Are

“I avoided other people like they were zombies even before they were zombies.”
–Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Zombieland

“Where’s the fuckin’ Twinkies?”
–Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Zombieland

“He sets the standard for not-to-be-fucked-with.”
–Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) about Tallahasse, Zombieland

“Thank God for rednecks.”
–Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Zombieland

“Six people left in the world, and one of them is Bill fuckin’ Murray.”
–Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Zombieland

“Where are you, you spunky yellow delicious bastard?”
–Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), about the elusive last Twinkie on Earth, Zombieland

“If poetry doesn’t come as easily as leaves to a tree, better it had not come at all.”
–John Keats (Ben Whishaw), Bright Star

“Corn goes in one end and profit comes out the other.”
–Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon), The Informant!

“Everyone in this country is a victim of corporate crime by the time they finish breakfast.”
— Brian Shepard (Scott Bakula), The Informant!

“PMS isn’t real. It was invented by the boy media to make us seem crazy.”
–Jennifer (Megan Fox), Jennifer’s Body

“I wanted to run away that day, but you can’t run away from your own feet.”
–Flint (Bill Hader), Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

“Come on, Steve, we’ve got diem to carpe.”
–Flint (Bill Hader), Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

“Do you think Mom is crazy?”
–George (Logan Lerman)
“I don’t know. She’s the only one I’ve had.
–Robbie (Mark Rendall)
My One and Only

“That man is all potatoes and no meat.”
–Anne (Renee Zellweger), on her ex-husband, My One and Only

“I’m standing my ground on the verge.”
–Simon Foster (Tom Hollander), In the Loop

“At the end of the war need you need some soldiers left or else it looks like you lost.”
–Lt. Gen. George Miller (James Gandolfini), In the Loop

“Is there anything more wonderful in the world than a bed to oneself?”
–Cheri (Michelle Pfeiffer), Cheri

“I’m French — we respect directors in our country.”
–Shosanna (Mélanie Laurent), Inglourious Basterds

“It’s good to be excited. I used to be excited.”
–George (Adam Sandler), Funny People

“The more money you make, the more shit they give you. It makes no sense.”
–George (Adam Sandler), Funny People

“Not everybody loved you.”
–Ira (Seth Rogen), to Ray Romano, Funny People

“Bullshit expands to fill the allotted time.”
–Marty (Peter Gallagher), Adam

“My friend Harlan says Queens is where everybody goes to die because they can’t tell the difference.”
–Adam (Hugh Dancy), Adam

“We’re getting shanghaied to Ohio.”
–Harry (David Wenham), Public Enemies

“Were you killed?”
–Crash (Seann William Scott) and Eddie (Josh Peck)
“Sadly, yes. But I lived!”
–Buck (Simon Pegg)
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

“You are literally too stupid to insult.”
–Stu (Ed Helms) to Alan (Zach Galifianakis), The Hangover

“Don’t let the beard fool you — he’s a child.”
–Stu (Ed Helms) about Alan (Zach Galifianakis), The Hangover

“Sweet Gregor Mendel!”
–Rick (Will Ferrell), Land of the Lost

“I’ve never been in a floating house before.”
–Russell (Jordan Nagai), Up

“I was hiding under your porch because I love you.”
–Dug (Bob Peterson), Up

“I welcome the dead into my soul.”
–Christine (Alison Lohman), Drag Me to Hell

“I want an unwritten life.”
–Bloom (Adrien Brody), The Brothers Bloom

“A photograph is like a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know.”
–Penelope (Rachel Weisz), The Brothers Bloom

“Trying to make something real by telling yourself stories is a trip.”
–Bloom (Adrien Brody), The Brothers Bloom

“Only movie thugs and Russians deal in suitcases of cash.”
–Stephen (Mark Ruffalo), The Brothers Bloom

“Your country needs you.”
–Stryker (Danny Huston), an American army officer
“I’m Canadian.”
–Logan (Hugh Jackman)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

“News flash: there’s something wrong with the world.”
–Steve (Robert Downey Jr.), The Soloist

“I’m gonna have to do what Beethoven did and just die.”
–Nathaniel (Jamie Foxx), The Soloist

“He’s in the room.”
–Nathaniel (Jamie Foxx)
“Who is?”
–Steve (Robert Downey Jr.)
“Beethoven.”
–Nathaniel (Jamie Foxx)
The Soloist

“If you can get hold of your heart, I’m reasonably sure I can put it back in for you.”
–Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam), to Chev, Crank: High Voltage

“Why the fuck would I blow up Chik-Fil-A? It’s fucking delicious!”
–Saddamn (Aziz Ansari), Observe and Report

“This place is an X-file wrapped in a coverup and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy.”
–General W.R. Monger (Keifer Sutherland), Monsters vs. Aliens

“I’m not a quack. I’m a mad scientist.”
–Dr. Cockroach (Hugh Laurie), Monsters vs. Aliens

“I may not have a brain, gentlemen, but I have an idea.”
–B.O.B. (Seth Rogen), Monsters vs. Aliens

“By Hawkins chair!”
–Dr. Cockroach (Hugh Laurie), Monsters vs. Aliens

“Can I share my fire with you?”
–Howard Tully (Tom Wilkinson), Duplicity

“Hair is power.”
–Duke (Denis O’Hare), Duplicity

“Someone’s gunning for masks…”
–Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley), Watchmen

“What the hell happened to us? What happened to the American dream?”
–Nite Owl II (Patrick Wilson)
“It came true.”
–the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan)
Watchmen

“Very very very thank you.”
–Mr. Sergei Alexander Bobinsky (Ian McShane), Coraline

“I want some fucking justice!”
–Louis (Clive Owen), The International

“Kill him quietly — I have guests.”
–bad guy, Taken

“Oh for the love of Thomas Hardy…”
–Elinor (Helen Mirren), Inkheart

“They love anyone who opens them.”
–Elinor (Helen Mirren), about books, Inkheart

“You barbaric piece of pulp fiction.”
–Elinor (Helen Mirren), to a bad guy, Inkheart

“Here, fire has no sense of humor.”
–Dustfinger (Paul Bettany), Inkheart

“What kind of grown-ass man calls himself Puffy?”
–Mom Wallace (Angela Bassett), Notorious

“What the fuck is the world coming to when a drug dealer can’t walk the streets at night?”
–cop, Notorious



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