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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

because ugly-ass vampire diamond chips are a girl’s best friend

It gives a whole new meaning to the term “blood diamond”! Now, boys with terrifyingly fangirly fiancées can give their one-true-love — you know, the one who’s more in love with a fictional vampire than with the not-undead man right in front of them — the engagement ring of their dreams:

Experience your romance with Edward Cullen in a whole new way when you slip on Bella’s Engagement RingTM! You’ll love showing off the radiant stones in this elegant, domed-oval, gold ring. In true Victorian-era design, your ring is created by master artisans with an open-work gallery and a finely polished edge that surrounds the brilliant faceted stones. How exciting for you to own the only, Original, Bella’s Engagement RingTM in the world! We are pleased to offer this beautiful ring in three versions to suit your style and pocketbook: Fashion, Fine, and Genuine.

The Genuine ring is regularly $1,999, but it’s on sale at the moment for $1,979. Oh, and it comes with a “keepsake box,” so you know you’re getting a good deal. (Cheap-ass gentlemen can spring instead for the Fine version — regularly $499, now only $479! — or the Fashion version: normally $59, on sale for $35.)

Any guy looking to propose with one of these rings might want to ensure that their ladyloves do not read the sales copy, lest those ladies become confused and believe the ring means they’re getting engaged to Edward Cullen.

This thing isn’t quite the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen:

But it’s definitely ranked.

This has been your WTF Thought for the Day.



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