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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

quick list: five terrible spy movies

As a followup to yesterday’s five great spy movies, herewith five really terrible ones… and I find it interesting that the spy movie seems to go so wrong when comedy is attempted.

Given the ubiquitousness of terrible movies, this list is far from comprehensive, so please do chime with more really awful spy movies.
The Tuxedo and The Spy Next Door
If there’s one valuable thing to be gleaned from this duo of awfulness, it’s that Jackie Chan plus “lighthearted American spy comedy” is a combination to be avoided at all costs.

Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
If Ed Wood had it in mind to make a 3D spy movie for kids, it might look like this. “Incomprehensible” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

XXX
This cringe-worthy attempt to create a sort of urban bad-ass 007 for the 21st century appeared to believe that removing all sense of humor and all sense of morality from the genre was a step in the right direction. It wasn’t.

Bad Company
It’s like My Fair Lady, only with explosions, as Anthony Hopkins must groom Chris Rock into a proper spy. Yes, Jerry Bruckheimer was involved.



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