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rare female film critic | by maryann johanson

wtf: Justin Bieber is better than all of us

I thought this was a headline from The Onion:

Justin Bieber to Play Himself in 3D Movie

But it’s real (via ABC News). And it gets worse:

Paramount Pictures confirmed Tuesday that it will release a 3D biopic about the Canadian teen idol’s life on February 11.

Bieber is 16. Sixteen years old. What can he possibly have done yet that warrants a biography? He hasn’t even been to rehab yet for an addiction to drugs, alcohol, and/or sex.

Please shoot me:

The news follows Monday’s announcement that Bieber will publish a memoir, “Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story,” in October.

Deep thought: Justin Bieber is three years older than this Web site.

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