wtf: Justin Bieber is better than all of us

Wed, Aug 04, 2010

I thought this was a headline from The Onion:

Justin Bieber to Play Himself in 3D Movie

But it’s real (via ABC News). And it gets worse:

Paramount Pictures confirmed Tuesday that it will release a 3D biopic about the Canadian teen idol’s life on February 11.

Bieber is 16. Sixteen years old. What can he possibly have done yet that warrants a biography? He hasn’t even been to rehab yet for an addiction to drugs, alcohol, and/or sex.

Please shoot me:

The news follows Monday’s announcement that Bieber will publish a memoir, “Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story,” in October.

Deep thought: Justin Bieber is three years older than this Web site.

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12 Comments

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Brian

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 11:59am

Another Deep Thought: Kurt Cobain, a real rock star, was already dead before Justin Bieber was born.

Anne

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 12:03pm

Deep thought: Justin Bieber is three years older than this Web site.

I guess it’s time for your website’s memoires then. It probably has a lot more to say than Justin Bieber, I think..

slinberg

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 12:27pm

Can someone tell me what a Justin Bieber is and why I need one?

James

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 12:43pm

Is it strange to be annoyed about the book name? “Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story” Really? A title, a subtitle, and a sub-subtitle? If that’s just the cover, I’m scared of what the writing style inside would be.

A friend of mine threatened to buy me a copy for Christmas. I said if she did, I’d be reading it to her as we ride to work. I expect one 15 minute ride would be enough to read the whole thing.

RyanT

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 12:57pm

Well, sadly, the demand is out there. He’s just cashing in. Can’t entirely fault him.

Dokeo

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 1:18pm

Well, sadly, the demand is out there. He’s just cashing in. Can’t entirely fault him.

Or, more likely, his handlers are cashing in. I doubt a 16 year old boy is the savviest of businessmen. Teen stardom is fickle – they’ve got to squeeze the maximun of cash out of their hot property while they can.

Anne-Kari

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 2:47pm

The only positive thing I can say about Justin Bieber is that he (or at least his agent) has the ability to make fun of his image over at Funny Or Die: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/cd12846553/bieber-takes-over

Orangutan

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 4:08pm

Can someone tell me what a Justin Bieber is and why I need one?

You have no idea how jealous I am of you, that you have not had this kid inflicted on you.

Drave

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 6:28pm

Wait, what? How can you have a life story if you haven’t lived yet?

Hmm… Maybe it’s a prequel?

Dart

Wed, Aug 04, 2010 7:31pm

Dude, you guys are overlooking the best part! In 3D?! So I’m guessing he either went to some fantasy land where magical creatures flew around him, or something so visually spectacular happened that it needs to be put in 3D, prior to becoming the “next Michael Jackson.” I for one am dying to see Canada in the third dimension. It’ll be like I live there!