you’re not helping: George Lucas now out to ruin fans

Not content to have spoiled the childhoods of a generation of geeks by both rebettering Star Wars into a place where Han Solo is a nice guy who doesn’t shoot bounty hunter scum without warning and Cloud City is a suburb of Coruscant and by delivering a prequel trilogy that took all the mystery out of the Force and replaced it with Hayden Christensen’s scowling, the filmmaker is now going to appropriate fans’ memories for Yoda knows what purpose:

George Lucas’ production company is recording fans’ memories of how the epic saga has influenced their lives since Star Wars was released in 1977.

Dubbed the Stories Project, the fans video will include footage from the mega-Star Wars convention Celebration V which is running in Orlando, Florida, from 11 to 15 August.

At the moment, the focus is on speaking with fans and collecting stories. Lucasfilm says there will definitely be a market for the stories but is as yet undecided what it will do with the video.

Oh, we know what Lucas will do with the video. First, he will digitally replace the fans with Ewan McGregor. Then, he will digitally replace the background to make it look like Celebration V is taking place at the Mos Eisley Convention Center on Tatooine. Then, he will digitally replace fans’ comments so everyone is saying things like “Jar Jar is the best Star Wars character ever” and “I always knew it was midichlorians.” Then he will not pay David Prowse.

(Wait: what? Jon Stewart is going to interview George Lucas at Celebration? Will there be video after?)

(image from MotivatedPhotos.com)

Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap