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film criticism by maryann johanson | since 1997

The Five-Year Engagement (trailer)

Remember, ladies: You’re not allowed to get married if you have a job. So quit stealing work from a man who needs it more than you do, and get back in the kitchen where you belong.

If that’s not enough to get you to lady up, know that you can be physically punished if you’re not married within the proper timeframe:

The Five-Year Engagement Emily Blunt

The Five-Year Engagement

Worst of all, you might disappoint your grandparents with your career-whore ways, and they’ll die — die! — before you make things right. Don’t you dare think that your long-term relationship with the man you love counts in any way unless you have gotten the stamp of approval from an old man channeling another old man in the sky. These men know what’s best for you, dear. Just who do you think you are, living your life on your own terms?

US/Canada release date: Apr 27 2012 | UK release date: Jun 22 2012

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