Artemis Fowl movie review: falls foul of itself
A disaster of a kids’ fantasy caper; feels like it’s making up the plot as it goes. A mishmash of manufactured wonder: characters barely sketched, action seemingly setting up future DisneyWorld rides.
Josh Gad
Frozen II movie review: the thaw sets in
There’s magic here, and elemental spirits, but no magic and nothing elemental, metaphorically speaking. Rote and smaller than its predecessor. Even the songs are bland and forgettable.
The Angry Birds Movie 2 movie review: seeing red seeing Red
Painfully stupid faux-woke slapstick that wants to have its idiot male hero and its nods to feminism at the same time. Kids are listening, they are absorbing this garbage, and they deserve better. (now with a brief review of short “Hair Love”)
A Dog’s Journey movie review: Does the Dog Die? The Movie
Pure rerun of A Dog’s Purpose: Pooch Bailey returns again and again (again) in different bodies to love and serve his humans. A sappy tail, pleasantly daydreamy. I’m not crying you’re crying.
Beauty and the Beast (2017) movie review: ever just the same, never a surprise
Like a theme-park mounting of the 1991 cartoon, or the blandified pop version of an enchanting signature character tune. A watered-down pastiche of itself.
The Angry Birds Movie movie review: what the shell?
What the heck is this? Some sort of meninist political statement attempting to vindicate male anger? In a kids’ movie? Maybe men shouldn’t make movies…
Pixels movie review: blue screen of death (please)
Adam Sandler imagines himself as the savior of the planet. And then it gets even more puffed up with arrogance and all manner of masturbatory fantasy.
The Wedding Ringer movie review: manfriendwhore for sale
A festering pile of fatphobic, homophobic, sexist, grossout garbage in which men are manipulative liars but women are worse.
Frozen review: I have chills
The showstopping central musical number is a glorious anthem to female power and ability… and so, in fact, is the whole wonderful movie. Disney is finally getting it. (new DVD/VOD US/Can)
Love and Other Drugs (review)
Maybe the romantic comedy about a couple of sociopaths is where the Hollywood expression of the genre has been heading all along, since such films of recent vintage have been populated by unpleasant people doing unpleasant things in the hopes that we will be somehow charmed by them. Perhaps it was only a matter of time before pathological charm was deployed.
