I’m “biast” (con): the premise sounded awful
(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)
I’ve said it before, but it has never been more applicable than with The Wedding Ringer: there is nothing men can do, no matter how base or despicable, that cannot be celebrated on film. This movie thinks it is a tragi-comedy lamenting the state of modern manhood, which leaves so many men without strong male friendships. And this truly is a bad thing, and there is perhaps a funny and touching movie to be made about that. But this festering pile of fatphobic, homophobic, sexist, child- and grandma-abusing, grossout garbage is not it. Doug (Josh Gad: Frozen) has literally no friends he can ask to be in his wedding party for his impending nuptials to Gretchen (Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting). Oh, he’s been lying about the existence of friends, and he’s gotten away with this because… why? His bride-to-be doesn’t think it strange that she has never met any of his “friends”? But Gretchen is far from alone in being an easily manipulated lady-dupe, because Jimmy Callahan (Kevin Hart: This Is the End) has built an entire business out of supplying himself as a fake best man at the weddings of men who have done the same thing, and gotten away with it! The brides never catch on, the stupid shallow bitches: they got their fairy-tale wedding and snagged a husband, so it’s all good. Enter Jimmy to help Doug in his moment of panic, and it gets worse from there. This is an all-around appalling depiction of both genders, although women get the worst of it. Because for all their lying, cheating, cowardly, desperate, deplorable scumbag behavior, ultimately Doug and Jimmy console themselves with this soothing fact: at least they’re not women.