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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer…


What happened to “sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll”? Evangelical Christian rock stars? Isn’t that a sign of the apocalypse? (“And three brothers shall walk among them, and they shall be unto the ears of the many as melodious, and they shall be said to rock, and the righteous will know them for deceivers.”) Since when do rock star wear “purity” rings? (Nick got his made at Disney World! It’s pretty awesome, he says. And I just died a little inside. Kevin’s is a punk-rock purity ring from Tiffany. And I just died some more. And you can buy one for yourself, or for someone you love, though not in that way. And now I’m dead.)

I shouldn’t make fun of them. But it’s so easy. Where did we go wrong? How did we come to this: kids still listening to Barney music as teenagers? It’s disgraceful.

Not that you’d know anything about purity rings or visits to the Bush White House — or even what their music sounds like — from the trailer. I suppose it’s meant to fool parents into thinking their kids are getting an appropriate does of wildly inappropriate devil’s music. Note how small the G-rating is in all the movie’s publicity material.

That’s right: a G-rated rock concert movie. Disgusting.

Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience opens in the U.S. on February 27 and in the U.K. on May 29.



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