I finished up my reread of Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline — soon to be released as a major motion picture by Steven Spielberg — today on Twitter. (Part 1.) Here’s my commentary.
(UPDATE 03.29.18: Here’s my review of Ready Player One the movie.)
#ReadyPlayerOne, where we are: High-school dork Wade, who is secretly INCREDIBLY AMAZING, is now living in the OASIS mecca of Columbus, Ohio, as he attempts to solve the second puzzle in Internet billionaire madman James Halliday's online puzzle. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 17: Wade refuses to accept Art3mis's request for him to stop engaging with her, and we also learn that "most gunters [easter egg hunters] are male." So feminism has made no progress by the 2040s. Damn. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Oo, some transphobia, too! Fun. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Art3mis AGAIN requests that Wade not contact her. But he does, becoming a pest on email. She gives in and they begin to correspond, hang out in VR, etc. They have SUCH A CONNECTION. Remember, dudes, when she says Fuck off, she really means Come and get it. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Wade is now watching — as research — "a collection of vintage 80s cereal commercials." I see this as a sign of "civilization [is] going straight down the tubes," but to Wade, it's the absence of toy prizes in 2040s cereal boxes that indicates that. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 18: Wade continues to obsess over Art3mis and finally declares his "love" for "Arty," but she is having none of it. "Trust me. If I ever let you see me person, you would be repulsed," she says. (Remember this.) #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Wade thinks he loves everything about Art3mis. But when she mentions that she needs to refocus on the contest, he scoffs at her desire to use the prize money to save the world. "You're so fucking noble." What a prince. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 19: Wade has now isolated himself in his apartment with no human contact, not even with delivery people bringing food or new VR gear. (He has an airlock.) He did buy a VR sex doll, but he didn't like it and has gone back to old-fashioned jerking off. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
The sequence about masturbation includes one of the few quotes so far from Halliday, in which he expounds on the virtues of "slapping the salami." It's like something from a horrible MRA blog. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Wade acknowledges that he is "just another sad, lonely soul, wasting his life on a glorified videogame." But that's only outside the OASIS! (Lt. Barclay, please report to the holodeck. See, I can drop pop culture references, too.) #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Oh god, Ready Player One IS Barclay in book form, isn't it?
— Drave the Moonrascal (@DoctorAvenue) March 18, 2018
Chapter 20: Cory Doctorow and Wil Wheaton get namechecked. No comparable women. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Wade describes how he is cyberstalking Art3mis, who refuses to have any contact with him since his bizarre declaration of love. This is intended to be sad and sweet and romantic. It is not. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Wade talks about spending multiple 16-hour days trying to solve a "quest" in OASIS (in order to acquire unusual and powerful objects to help with Halliday's hunt), and other grueling endurance tests. None of this sounds *fun*! It sounds like a slog. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 21: Art3mis solves Halliday's second puzzle first, which causes Wade to redouble his resolve to win the whole contest. "I wanted to prove myself to Art3mis." *groan* #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Kurt Vonnegut gets namechecked. Still no women authors to geek out over. WTF. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 22: We are now just looking over Wade's shoulder as he attempts to play a perfect game of Pac-Man. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 23: Now Wade is literally just playing Zork. This book is bringing a sad, diminished new meaning to the phrase "text adventure." #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 24: The bad guys are winning and Wade is despairing… #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 25: More despair. And yet I feel nothing… #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 26: Another male SF writer namechecked. No women writers mentioned yet. The narrowness of some ideas of geekdom is infuriating. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
"My bullet bill this month was going to be huge." So much casual killing. But no one's really dead! And anyway, some of them aren't even really virtual: they're just NPCs. It's fun to kill! (Another narrow idea of geekdom.) #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Wade is taking a Voight-Kampff test as part of the Easter egg hunt. In a much more clever version of this book, it tells him that he's an NPC in the OASIS… #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 27: Another day, another quest, another way in which Wade can demonstrate that he has no personality of his own, just "interests" borrowed from Halliday. (Wade learned how to play guitar because Halliday did.) Pathetic. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Level Three (the book's Part Three) opens with another quote from Halliday: "Going outside is highly overrated." Sad. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 28: In which Wade gets arrested by IOI because his false identity has missed credit card payments. Very Max Headroom. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
that actually happens. One missed payment with VISA and WHAMMO they're busting your door down and dragging you off to debtors prison.
— Angry Moderate 2020 (@PaulWartenberg) March 18, 2018
(Of course, Wade's false identity is also a Max Headroom reference.) #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 29: Wade is now a corporate slave to IOI, the evil corporation that means to win Halliday's contest… but it's all part of Wade's ingenious plan. To win Art3mis's heart. *facepalm* #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 30: Here we learn that Wade despises the other "indents," or indentured employees, just like he despises all the other gunters (with a rare few exceptions). Wade really thinks he is a beautiful and unique snowflake. (Fight Club, David Fincher, 1999). #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 31: Wade hacks into IOI's intranet, which allows him access to all the corp's secret files on Halliday's hunt as well as on the top players, including Wade himself and Art3mis. Which he uses to continue creeping on her. He thinks he's being nice. FFS #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Wade, having escaped from IOI and expecting trouble, buys a gun in a vending machine. America! #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
this may be the most realistic aspect of the novel.
— Angry Moderate 2020 (@PaulWartenberg) March 18, 2018
Chapter 32: Extended Schoolhouse Rock reference. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 33: Arrangements are made for Wade to finally meet Art3mis in person… and also his bestie, Aech. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
And… Aech is revealed to be not a white dude, as Wade presumed he was based on his avatar, but "a heavyset African American girl." Who has been pretending to be a white dude all this time. Cuz that would happen. *facepalm* #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Aech tells her story, which involves her mother (another black woman) declaring that the OASIS is the best thing ever for women and people of color… because they can all pretend to be white men. Holy fucking NO. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
You guys, #ReadyPlayerOne has the solution to racism AND sexism! Everyone just pretend to be a white dude! Easy peasy. *maximum facepalm* #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
(Also Aech, real name Helen, is a lesbian, so it's not like she was secretly lusting after Wade or anything after all the intimate stuff he shared with her. No-homo!) #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
And from Halliday's friend and business partner, Ogden Morrow, Wade learns the secret of their infamous falling out: it was over a woman-as-prize whom Morrow won and Halliday didn't. FFS #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 34: The "female version" of a famous anime character? It's "obscure," of course. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Wade knows that Aech is actually a girl, but because her avatar is male, he decides to continue to refer to and think of Aech as a guy. Sexism solved! #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 35: Battle battle battle battle. Art3mis called Wade "a selfish asshole" for risking his avatar fighting the evil IOI guy. She's right. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 36: Wade's dedication to playing every videogame ever to obsessed perfection pays off. Again. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 37: We watch Wade play more videogames. *yawn* #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 38: Wade wins the contest, and gets control of the OASIS. This was one big Willy Wonka wank. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
Chapter 39: Holy fucking shit. Wade has to complete one more test — a real-world hedge maze — with Art3mis as the prize. She's a literal trophy awarded to him. Jesus Christ. #ReadyPlayerOneReread
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
And that's #ReadyPlayerOne done and dusted. If I have amused you or saved you the task of reading the book yourself or inspired you to pick it up, you can show your appreciation via PayPal [https://t.co/1k6uLSFzD7] or Patreon [https://t.co/BUBuVYGCza]. Thanks for reading along!
— MaryAnn Johanson (@maryannjohanson) March 18, 2018
My memory of the book is slightly more positive, but I can’t deny any of your points and I haven’t felt any urge to re-read it. I think that insofar as it works it’s probably one of those “stop complaining and go with the flow” narratives – much like films described as “turn off your brain and enjoy it”.
I probably ought to write a new review, but then I’d have to read it again.
I was thinking of reading Ready Player One, by borrowing if from my public library, but you’ve saved me the trouble. If they ever make the Girl version, I might read that. Pink cover of course, with references to Punky Brewster, Sailor Moon, Teen Witch, Dirty Dancing, Cabbage Patch Dolls, etc…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWPMJwHrWFU
Ha! Perfect!
Could a novel like Ready Player One have been written anytime before the 1990’s? This level of all-the-way-up-its-own-arse backwards-looking nostalgia has to be a recent phenomena.
http://mikelynchcartoons.blogspot.com/2010/07/there-is-much-truth-in-old-far-side.html
I’m not planning to read MaryAnn’s comments on the book till I’ve seen the movie, to avoid spoilers, but occasionally something on the Recent Comments page catches my eye.
When I was growing up, all the TV commercials featured music from the ’50s and ’60s. I can never remember the actual lyrics to “Happy Together,” because I start singing, “Ooo that golden honey and graham cracker taste of Golden Grahams….” Every time I watched a syndicated TV show, an announcer was selling a greatest hits package from the Baby Boomer era.
I was actually a little relieved when a Jefferson Starship song that I grew up with (“We built this city on rock and roll…”) got turned into a terrible ad (“We built this business to change your life…”). I mean, Grace Slick and Jefferson Airplane were still Boomer music, but someone was starting to pander to me.
So, no, Ready Player One doesn’t make our generation special. Previous generations got Grease and Happy Days and American Graffiti and, later, Mamma Mia! But now our kids can resent us for cluttering the airwaves with dreck, just like our parents did.
But, but, but…Mecha Godzilla!
Yeah, you are 100% right on all counts against this book. I mildly liked it, but knew the whole time it was full of tropes and cliches and just not good.
I tend not to be a nostalgic kind of person, so I’m with you on the sad 80s obsession.
I’m wondering how Spielberg handles Artemis’s face reveal. Will she have a giant half of her face birth mark like the book describes, or just something smaller that shes really embarrassed about?
The Aech reveal was so ridiculous, but I also found a grain of sad truth to it. Maybe it wasn’t written well, but it would be interesting to see life from a different perspective, even if it’s a virtual one.
The trailers for the movie have not given me much hope that Spielberg can make this work. We’ll see.
This sounds an awful lot like Sword Art Online.
Which was just as terrible.
How can someone have written a worse virtual reality story than Spy Kids 3?
funny… i didn’t read the book (and now, have no intentions of doing so) but from your descriptions of the story line, i assumed it was a 1980/early 90s piece… i was prepared to say, “well, why would you think it would have any references to female or feminist literature or writers”? but i checked and saw it was published in 2011! absolutely no excuses. cannot say i’ve read anything by Ernest Cline. and probably never will now. sounds unoriginal and weak. not hyped for the movie either.