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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

‘Sarah Connor Chronicles’ blogging: “Brothers of Nablus”

(previous: Episode 6: “The Tower Is Tall But the Fall Is Short”)

I find myself moved to snark on the robots from the future and the impending doom of the human race. Hey, it’s the way I roll. Feel free to discuss more in-depth in comments, should you be moved to do so.

[spoilers after the jump!]
Wait, I’m totally confused. The FBI agent has a Terminator doubleganger, and now the Cromarty Terminator stops it from killing the agent? Or was Ellison dreaming? That was my first thought — that he was having a nightmare, which seems like a reasonable response to the things he’s seen. But no, I guess the fact that he gets arrested for murder, which his Terminator doppleganger clearly committed, means there is a machine double of him running around. Or was, but now it’s dead cuz Cromarty killed it.

And oh, fer pete’s sake, the cop who interrogated Ellison isn’t a cop, he’s a machine from the future who talks about “energy bubbles.” No, wait, he’s the Scottish machine from the future. I’d be worried about how I’m going to untangle all these twisted-up alliances and allegiances — how many factors of the machines-from-the-future are there now, and how many of them are sympathetic to the humans? — except I’m not sure I care anymore.

Doesn’t Derek know his girlfriend from the future is a trap? I mean, it’s completely obvious, isn’t it? I guess Derek didn’t grow up watching all the crap sci-fi we did, what with him being from after the robot holocaust and all. And they say TV is bad for you. At least it would save us from getting taken in by our bad friends who turned bad.

Is it really smart for Sarah and Co. to be using credit cards? Do they just not pay them? That’s one way to finance your war against robots from the future, I guess. But it seems like being under the radar of computers would be smarter. This show could be a parable about (among other things) living off the grid and not letting yourself become a number — a Social Security number, a credit card number, a credit score — and instead it’s just about John getting yelled out for wanted to have a nice girlfriend who likes him. That doesn’t seem very fair to John, I don’t think.

Oh, come on! Stupid coincidence — like the dumb girl knocking over the pile of cans — is the only thing stopping Cromarty from finding John Connor in the supermarket? Pul-leeze.

I want to praise this episode for the fact that at least Cameron is suddenly acting like a Terminator, killing those guys in the bowling alley who might give them away. But then Sarah’s not willing to kill the other guy? I don’t know if I buy that. I’m not saying I’m all for killing scared stupid teenagers, but this is the future of the human race we’re talking about… and it’s the integrity of Sarah Connor as a character we’re talking about. We’ve already seen — in the movies, I mean — that she is one badass chick with nothing but the protection of her son in mind, so that he can protect the human race. And now she won’t off one guy who could fuck it all up? Since when?

I’d be angrier, but I think I don’t care anymore.

Lesson for the week: Terminators are no fun on a date. They don’t even like cinnamon chewing gum. And then they kick you out of the car.

(Need a complete episode recap? Check out Fox’s official site for the show.)

(next: Episode 8) [not reviewed]


MPAA: rated TV14-LV

viewed at home on a small screen

official site | IMDb

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