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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘2012’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer…


Second-by-second reactions:

0:23: “Mayan calendar predicts the end of time”? *snort* And I’ve got an ark on a Middle Eastern mountaintop I’d like to sell you…

0:37: Oh no! Not John Cusack! Johnny, what were you thinking? God, I hope they paid you a shitload of dough for this.

0:55: Well, the Vatican getting destroyed can’t be such a bad thing. Too bad about all the nice art, though…

1:01: “From Roland Emmerich”? No! Really! I’d never have guessed!

1:06: Translation: If you thought ‘Independence Day’ didn’t destroy enough of human civilization…

1:07: We totally wanted Morgan Freeman for our noble black President, but his cinematic term limits are up. </Emmerich>

1:09: Translation: If you thought ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ didn’t trash enough of planet Earth…

1:11: Yeah, we used that last-minute-takeoff-before-the-runway’s-toast bit in ‘ID4,’ too. But it’s soo cool! </Emmerich>

1:18: Seriously, though, how freakin’ awesome is Los Angeles falling into the Pacific. If you don’t wet your pants, we’ll wet ’em for you! </Emmerich>

1:23: “They said that the government is building these ships…” Wait, I thought someone was already remaking When Worlds Collide? (Yup, it’s Stephen Sommers.)

1:36: “Wasn’t it also decided that people have the right to fight for their lives?!” I nominate this already for Worst Line of the Year.

2:15: If you thought the White House getting blown up by aliens was the worst thing that could happen to it…

2:30: “No matter what happens, we’ll all stay together.” Bet they don’t.

2012 opens in the U.S. and the U.K. on November 13. Of 2009, of course. If they waited till 2012, they’d just look silly when the planet’s still fine the next morning.



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